Abbess,
    Christian Orthodox       
Abbot,
    Christian Orthodox        
Accountant        
Acting Official       
Adjutant General     
Admiral, Rear         
Alderman         
Archbishop, Catholic        
Archbishop,
   Christian Orthodox        
Archdeacon, Episcopal        
Archimandrite        
Architect
Archpriest        
Ambassador to the U.S.
   from a foreign country      
Ambassador of the U.S.        
American Indian Chief        
Assemblyman
   U.S., State / or           
   Assemblywoman            
Associate Justice,
   U.S. Supreme Court          
Associate Justice of a
   State Supreme Court
Attorney         
Attorney General           
Attorney, U.S.         
Australian Officials    

Baron, Baroness           
British Officials,
   Royalty, Nobility     
Brother, Catholic         
Brother,
   Christian Orthodox          
Bishop, Catholic            
Bishop,
   Christian Orthodox         
Bishop, Episcopal        
Board Member     
Boy        
Brigadier General       

Canadian Officials    
Candidate    
Captain,
   USA, USAF, USMC     
Cardinal             
Chairman
    Federal Reserve      
Chaplain in the
    Armed Services        
Chaplain of Congress          
Chargé d’Affaires         
Chief Executive Officer 
Chief Judge          
Chief Justice,
      U.S. Supreme Court 
Chief Justice, of a State
      Supreme Court             
Chief of Police          
Chief of Staff     
Chief Operating
   Officer          
Child            
Clergy & Religious
    Officials     
Colonel, "Honorary"
     Kentucky, or other
     state/organization      
Colonel, USA, USAF,
    or USMC     
Congressman, U.S.              
Congresswoman, U.S.   
Consul and or
   Consul General              
Commissioner       
Corporate Executive         
Councilman
    Councilwoman      
Counselor (Diplomat)      
Countess     
Couples     
Curator        

Dalai Lama          
Deacon         
Dean, academic            
Dean, clergy            
Deceased Persons        
Delegate, U.S., State            
Dentist             
Deputy Chief of Mission      
Deputy Marshal          
Designate, Elect,
    Pro Tempore      
Diplomats      
District Attorney           
Doctor of Dentistry           
Doctor of Medicine              
Doctor of
   Veterinary Medicine          
Doctor of Osteopathy            
Doctor, Other Disciplines     
Doctorate        
Doctorate, honorary      

Earl            
Elect, Designate
   Pro Tempore      
Eminence     
Etiquette    
Excellency           

Fiancee      
First, Second,
   Third, etc.        
First Lady, Spouse
   of the President of
   the United States 
First Lady, Member
    of Her   
    White House Staff      
First Lady, Spouse
   of a Governor
   or Lt. Gov.    
First Lieutenant   
Flag Protocol     
Former Officials    
Freeholder       

Geshe
General
    USA, USAF, USMC
Girl
Governor, Lieutenant 
Governor, Lt., Spouse   
Governor, Tribal Council          
Governor, U.S. State       
Governor, Former    
Governor
    Spouse of     
Governor's Staff,
    Member of      
Governors, Board of 

Honorable, The          
Honorary degrees    
Honourable, The       

Indian Chief         
Inspector General    
Introductions       
Invitations  
   Writing &  
   Addressing  
Invitations
    Military:
    Writing &
    Addressing

Judge, former     
Judge of US City or
        US Count     
Judge, US Federal            
Junior, Senior,
    I, II, III, etc.       
Justice, Associate
     Federal
     Supreme Court
Justice, Associate
     State
     Supreme Court

King     
Knight      

Late, The
   (deceased persons)        
Lawyer      
Lieutenant      
Lieutenant Colonel,     
   USA, USAF, USMC          
Lieutenant General,
   USA, USAF, USMC      
Lieutenant Governor         

Etiquette
Questions & Answers on Etiquette
Yes, I know this is supposed to be a Blog on Names, Titles, & Forms
of Address, but other stuff shows up and I still answer.  -- Robert

Do You Ever Introduce Yourself with an Honorific?             
Do You Sign Your Name as "Dr. (Name)"?             
How to Address a "Kentucky Colonel?     
How to Correct Someone Who Addresses You Incorrectly?     
How to Say 'Thank You' in Today's World of Email Communication?            
How to Address Someone in Writing When You Don't Know Their Surname?       
Carrying a Drink from the Reception to Dinner?            
Getting Rid of Your Gum Once You at the Dinner Table?            
What is the Protocol of Non-Political Officials Attending
     Partisan Political Events?

GIFTS
Are Official Gifts Wrapped?           
Official Gifts Exchange Between Officials?           
How to Deal with Unwanted Presents?    
How to Sign a Book as a Gift?     
Taking A Gift to an Official's Reception?     

NAMES
Use of First Names in a Formal Business Environment?     
Can I Put My Twitter Name on My Business Card?     
What Form of My Name to Put on Stationery?      
What If Someone Doesn't Want to Use My Chosen Name?        

INTERACTION WITH FOREIGNERS     
How Does an American Citizen Wear Decorations?            
Does a US Citizen Bow to a Foreign Head of State?             
Does a President Bow to a Foreign King or Queen?            
Touching a Queen / Queen Elizabeth / Queen of the United Kingdom ?                 

What Form of My Name to Use on Stationery?

     What is a proper personal stationery for a retired US Navy Captain?
         -- Captain Richard Herold, USN, Retired

Dear Captain Herold,

     Here's what's generally done:
    On a correspondence card just the person's name appears ... without rank or honorific.
    Physicians leave off "Dr."  ... clergy leave off "Pastor"
    So use:
        Richard Harold
    On social stationery (letterhead) and envelopes  ... use the social form of your name:
        Captain Richard Harold
        2233 Henderson Lane
        Mobile, Alabama, 23456
    Use of  your rank as an honorific is totally up to you.  If it's how you prefer the recipient to address you .. include it. Certainly most Navy Captains use "Captain" as their social honorific in retirement.
    You can also include a phone number and e-mail address.
    On social envelopes often just the address is used / no name / on the back flap
        2233 Henderson Lane
        Mobile, Alabama, 23456
    Regarding your rank: You could use the USN service-specific abbreviation for your rank ... CAPT ... but generally civilians don't understand why it's capitalized and punctuated the way it is.
    Civilian etiquette books say "spell out all ranks" .... the DoD style guidelines state that the service-specific abbreviations can be used by anyone, anywhere. So it is technically correct to use CAPT if you want to.
    -- Robert Hickey

What is the Protocol for an Elected Official Greeting a
Higher Official at a Campaign Stop in His/Her Town?
     I am an elected City Council person (non partisan). The sitting Governor of our state made a campaign stop to our town it was announced to the members of Council via e-mail three days in advance by the Assistant to the City Manager. I was the only elected city official that attended the event. I made a comment during the following City Council meeting about what an honor it was to have him visit our town. I am now being chastised for attending the event and have been told that I should not have attended as a representative of the city. I would do this for any elected official from the State or a National office.
     Will you please enlighten me to what is proper here?
            -- The Honorable in Area Code 281

Dear THIAC281,
     I surmise your colleagues judge the Governor's visit to have been a partisan political event and not an official civic event.
        the Governor making a stop in support of his re-election as a partisan candidate.
                vs.
        the Governor making an official speech at the town high school or opening a new state-paid-for bridge.
    So, maybe your colleagues judge that you ... as a non-partisan official attending a partisan event ... have compromised your appearance of being non-partisan status and by association their non-partisan status?
             -- Robert Hickey

Robert,
      I am in receipt of your response and I thank you for the speedy reply.  I am still not sure if I violated any rules of proper protocol when a higher-ranking elected official comes to town. Although I do not agree with certain elected government officials at all levels, I would think it proper to pay respect the the position one holds as a representative of the local people. Do I understand you to say that this is improper?
            -- The Honorable in Area Code 281

Dear THIAC281,
     Unless there is a written rule that forbids council members to attend political events ... you did nothing indisputably wrong or illegal.
     It's probably not the greeting of a high-ranking official that's the issue ... it's the context in which that greeting took place.
    There are lots of examples of officials ... elected and appointed ... choosing to attend ... or choosing not to attend specific events to assure or avoid the appearance of endorsement. 
    It seems that your peers judge your public attendance at a partisan event to signal your endorsement of the Governor's re-election.
       -- Robert Hickey

Robert,
      Thank you Robert I appreciate you and your desire to enlighten people to what is proper. May God bless you and your efforts.
            -- The Honorable in Area Code 281

Should I Arrive With a Gift When I Attend
A Reception at an Ambassador's Residence?
    I am an American citizen residing in Zurich, Switzerland. My husband and I received an invitation from the American Ambassador and his wife to attend a Christmas Celebration at the American Ambassador’s residence in Bern and I am uncertain if it is customary to bring a host/hostess gift on such an occasion. I have actually been to the residence before and have met the Ambassador’s wife, who invited a group of us from the American Women’s Club of Zurich to lunch. At that time we presented her with a gift from our group, so individual gifts were not a question. This Christmas Celebration is certainly not going to be an intimate affair, but it will probably not be an extremely large gathering either as the residence wouldn’t accommodate a huge number. I would normally without question bring a gift to someone’s home when being invited to a party, but I am in a quandary as to what to do in this case. Any guidance on this would be greatly appreciated.

          -- Maxine Rogers

Dear Ms. Rogers:
    Your note went into my spam folder ... so I didn't see it until today.  My apologies!
    The standard practice is to write the hostess a thank-you note within 24 hours after the event, thanking her for the hospitality and asking her to extend the thanks to the host.
     But, Europeans like to arrive with flowers or a present ... so arriving with a small gift is never incorrect.
     Since it's not going to be a tiny group ... the host and hostess will be busy when guests arrive. I suggest you tie a card to the outside of the gift stating TO and FROM .... AND include your card inside the wrapped package so when it's opened the next day they cannot mistake that it was from you. I can't tell you how many times at events ... the source of many gifts ends up being a mystery!
          -- Robert Hickey

Robert,
    How kind of you to answer my email inquiry. It’s come a couple of days after the party, but no matter as a friend of mine who was also invited told me she was going to bring the Ambassador’s wife a small hostess gift, so that is what we both did. I wrapped mine and put it in a gift bag, with a card enclosed, so hopefully it does not suffer the fate of being that mysterious source! However, it appeared as though we were among the very few who did show up with a hostess gift, if not the only ones. But I felt very correct in doing so.
     It was an outstanding party, conceived by the American Christmas campaign of one of the Swiss German Department stores, Globus, which prompted the Ambassador’s wife to contact him about her idea of hosting this party at the residence. What a treat it was to be greeted at the door by American Xmas music and find such familiar treats inside as eggnog and a weather-appropriate cocktail, Dark & Stormy ... oh yes, and the food was good too!
     I really appreciate you taking the time to answer my email, and if I find myself with any such etiquette questions in the future I will know who to ask.

          -- Maxine

How to Address Someone In Writing When They Only Have Their First Name on Their Name Badge?
      How should one address a note of thanks for services rendered by a medical professional, such as a person ranked MD, RN, or CNA, whose name badge gives only the person's first name and surname initial? I ask because my mother, who is elderly and as of today is receiving hospice care, recently spent several grueling weeks in a local hospital, and has asked that I express her gratitude to the medical personnel who attended her with outstanding kindness and compassion.
     I know her main physicians' surnames, but most of the medical team revealed only their first names and last name initials, such as Beth M., RN or Bob M., CNA on their name badges. This reminds me of elementary school, when we children were required to head our papers with only our given names and surname initials. That was appropriate for young children with emerging manual dexterity in a small classroom, but I do not understand how it makes sense in a professional setting, unless the personnel involved fear legal retribution, such as malpractice suits, and thus wish to hide their true identities.
     Please advise me on how to address these semi-anonymous professionals, who hold their patients' lives in their hands but will not reveal their full identifies.
     -- Taylor Stuart

Dear Taylor Stuart:
     All you can do is to follow the lead of the individual ... and address it to the name you have:
        Beth M., RN
        Surgical Recovery Unit
        Wilson County Hospital
        4455 Smith Road
        City, State, ZIP

        Dear Beth,

     But to get a more thoughtful answer, I asked an expert on etiquette and professional polish in the medical arena -- Karen Hickman of Professional Courtesy, LLC -- (Karen is a graduate of The Protocol School of Washington®) for her take on it:
    I agree with your response, but would like to add a couple more points. The primary reasons medical personnel list first names only is for security reasons, but also because nurses are authorized to phone in prescriptions for physicians and there is less chance for a clever patient to call in medications using the nurses full name.
    Also, if the patient has an established relationship with the facility there is a chance that a manager or supervisor would share last names.
    Speaking from personal experience, from my nursing days, cards and notes of gratitude are always so appreciated from care givers. Any gifts, like candy or other food items should be sent to the team since ethically, nurses and physicians are discouraged from accepting personal gifts.
    Karen: I learned something from you today (no surprise!). Thank you!
                 -- Robert Hickey

What If Someone Doesn't Want to Use My Chosen Name?
     I use my initials than my first name. But, I am requested by an organization to have my full first name in the roster.  How would I write my name to insure that when someone see my name that they will ask for me by my initials not by my first name. And what is the correct way to write a title? Would it be:
              Teresa J. “T.J” Smithson
              T.J. (Teresa) Smithson
              Teresa “T.J.” Smithson
       -- TJ Smithson

Dear TJ,
    I would not let them direct me on this .... I would tell them my first name was TJ and stick to my guns
    The only group that probably could require you to be simply TJ should be the Department of Internal Revenue .... and they will definitely want your legal name, Teresa J. Smithson, on your IRS 1040 tax form.
    However that said .... I like the middle one best since TJ is out front .... T.J. (Teresa) Smithson.
       -- Robert Hickey

How Get Rid of Gum Once You Are at the Table? 
        One of my students asked me the following question: What does one do with their gum if you are already seated to eat?
        On a plate or in the napkin?
        -- D.P. in Pittsburgh

Dear D.P.:
        Interesting to me is how when someone asks a question and provides the multiple choice answers ... we feel obliged to choose one of the provided answers!
        There is no correct place for disposing of trash or gum on the dining table.
        Tell your student he/she should excuse himself/herself from the table and go get rid of the gum in a trash can somewhere!
       -- Robert Hickey

Should I Include My Twitter Name on My Business Card?
    Dear Robert,
    Someone I met wanted to follow me on Twitter, so I wrote my Twitter name on the back of my business card. Is this proper?
    Should people now put their Twitter name on the front of their card as part of their contact info? I hope you can give me some guidance about this as I am speaking to a young professionals group on Thursday and want to be able to give them the "proper etiquette" for this. I wouldn't have even thought of this if it hadn't just happened to me. Thanks so much.
             -- Rachel on Twitter

Dear Rachel,
    Put on your card every way you invite communication. Most formally a business card does not include promotional information, but not everyone needs the most formal style of card. What's promotional? I’d define:
        Web site = promotion
        E-mail address = communication
        Twitter name = promotion
        Telephone number = communication
    Even if including your Twitter name is more promotion than communication ... only you can decide how formal you need your card to be.
    Certainly, social media sites are important avenues of communication for many: I got several notes to my Facebook page from Protocol School of Washington graduates this week ... but I'd say those are more personal & less formal than messages sent to me via my work e-mail address.
            -- Robert Hickey

How and When to Use First Name in Business?
    Greetings from Ireland. I had an interesting question at business etiquette presentation I gave last night to a Network Group of people who were starting up their own businesses.
     This man came up to me after the presentation and introduced himself as Frank. He told me that he had applied for a job in an international bank -- which he described as a very formal company.  He then got a phone call to say that he was shortlisted, which he was delighted about. He has been in constant contact with the interviewer's assistant, with whom he has built up a very good rapport -- and they are now on first name basis. But his predicament is how will he address the assistant in front of the interviewer?  Does he address her by first name or does he call her Ms. (last name)?  He doesn't want to give a bad first impression.
     I would very much welcome your thoughts on this.  Thanking you in anticipation,
        -- Colleen O'Leary, Dublin

Dear Colleen,
      It's an international bank ...and a formal environment, so I'd advise he start with formality. He can figure out how formal/casual it is 'inside' after he gets the job.
      Even though Frank is already on a first name basis with the assistant ... He should call her Ms. (surname) in the presence of anyone not a part of their more familiar relationship.
     Say you are a personal friend of "Sean" who is a member of the Irish Parliament (another formal environment).  You and a colleague (who has never met Sean) are at a meeting where Sean is there officially. It would not be considerate for you to introduce Sean simply as "Sean" to your colleague -- or others not also on a first-name basis with Sean. Sean might invite your colleague to call him by his first name .... but that's his option. And since he's there in an official capacity it's appropriate to keep it formal in the public arena.
     Or, say you worked very closely with a Irish Army General who you called by his first name in private ... but everywhere in public you called him "General Lyles" and he called you "Ms. O'Leary" .... so as not to invite others to address either of them by their first names until it was appropriate to do so.
            -- Robert Hickey

How to Teach a Child How to Behave at a Restaurant?
I came across a children's etiquette book to add to your library or to give as a gift to a family with a little one -- Wiggens Learns His Manners at the Four Seasons Restaurant by Leslie McGuire and Alex von Bidder.
     About curious and high-energy puppies at the famous NYC eatery, it includes ten lessons about being a well-behaved guest. I especially liked it because it's not yet another book on table manners ... it's on how to help a kid navigate a new and complicated environment: something not all adults are flawless at either!
      I'd say it is perfect for a parent to read to a child before eating out: menu vocabulary, courses and foods, how restaurants work, who they will meet, and lots of conversation starters for parents.
      I got my copy from the restaurant itself (after a memorable dinner) but it's available elsewhere too (like on Amazon.com).
    -- Robert Hickey

How to Pubicly Address a High Official
With Whom You Are On a First-name Basis?
        My daughter married in May of this year.  My new son-in-law's aunt is a Federal Judge. My husband and I joined them for Thanksgiving -- a large annual gathering at which we were included.  I would like to write her a thank you note for her gracious hospitality.  How should the envelope be addressed?  My daughter’s mother-in-law said on a previous occasion to address it to Betsy and John Smith but that seems a tad cavalier.   Is The Honorable Betsy Smith and Mr. John Smith  too staid?  Is Mr. & Mrs. John Smith too casual?  Of course we are on first name basis with both she and her husband.
              -- Susan T.

Dear Kim & Toni,
     The decision is to decide how formal you want to be.

    I vote for formal on the mailing envelope .... The Honorable Betsy Smith and Mr. John Smith  ... for the postman's eyes.
    I have never had anyone not appreciate being acknowledgedwith the formal form of address to which they are entitled.

    And informal on the note  ...  Dear Betsy and John, ... for their eyes.

    RE: Betsy -- Check on the court's website to see if they list her as "Betsy" or "Elizabeth" .... nickname or formal name.  Courts nearly always list the judges and give biographies.  If you are going to be formal, then do it with the formal form of her name.
 "Mr."
       -- Robert Hickey

Carrying A Drink From Reception to the Table?
     I have a question. At a reception prior to a formal (black-tie) dinner at a non-profit organization’s conference, guests were required to pay for their own drinks at the bar.  The line was long because there was only one bartender. When dinner was announced some guests had just gotten their drink.  They carried them in to the dinner and someone at their my table remarked that it was poor manners to bring drinks into dinner from a reception.  
    At dinner two bottles of were open and placed on each table.  After that, wine by the glass had to be purchased. I know that technically it is poor manners to bring your drinks to the table from the reception. But people here do it all the time and at $9 a glass for mediocre wine you can’t really blame them.  What do you think?
    -- Lesley Butler

Dear Ms. Butler:
        Etiquette changes over time and is always specific to the situation. Can you eat French fries with your fingers? At a white tablecloth restaurant I wouldn’t: at the ball park I would.
    You describe this reception with a single-line cash bar, two bottles of open wine on the table, and if you wanted additional glass of wine you would go buy it. I say it wasn't SO formal that I'd be too critical of moving some glassware around!  Maybe this situation was more akin to when you are at a restaurant and you have a drink in the bar until the table to be ready ... I wouldn’t advise anyone to throw away their newly delivered drink when the table becomes ready and they go to take their seats.
          -- Robert Hickey

Does a US Citizen Bow to a Foreign Head of State?
Does the President Bow to a Foreign King or Queen?
Mr. Hickey,
How deeply does a US citizen bow or curtsy when meeting a king or queen? Then as a follow-up, does the President of the United States bow or curtsy when meeting a king or queen on an official visit to their country?
     -- Jennifer Ripley, Winchester, Tennessee

Dear Ms. Ripley,
    I would follow the advice of Chris Young, President of the Protocol Diplomacy International / Protocol officers Association (he's also Chief of Protocol of the State of Georgia, and Director of International Affairs) when he says “Look no further than the U.S. Constitution, which states in Article I, Section 9, that ‘No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States.’ Those weren’t just words that prohibited Congress from naming someone a prince or princess, duke or duchess, lord or lady.  Those words were clear signals that in the U.S. all persons are on equal footing: that no nobility would exist here and thus no one had to bow to anyone. Certainly people here have titles such as president, chief executive officer, mayor, chancellor, and the like, but none of those titles was encoded on someone’s DNA.  Titles were to be ascending, earned through one’s own sweat equity and remarkable character, rather than descending, simply a generational bequeath to one’s progeny.”
    So a US citizen when meeting a king or queen – in the United States or in the monarch’s country -- should simply offer nod of the head as a sign of respect and shake the hand of the monarch if it was offered. This contrasts with either a deep bow or curtsy which would be an appropriate sign of fealty from a subject.
    Regarding the President. again I would quote of Chris Young, when he says both are “equals on the world stage.  Both are heads of state …. the only order of precedence that exists between the two is usually an alphabetical one rather than one of rank.”
    Since they are peers neither would bow to the other. So no, the President of the United States would perhaps offer nod of the head as a sign of respect and shake hands.
          -- Robert Hickey

Meeting The Queen and Prince Philip?
Touching the Queen of the United Kingdom?
Dear Mr. Hickey
When Barack Obama met Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip he called them “Your Majesty” and “Your Highness.”  Was that right? Was Michelle Obama putting her arm around the queen wrong?  I think it was nice.
        -- Dana Harriman

Dear Ms.Harriman
        First the form of address question -- a protocol question: The Queen of the United Kingdom, and every queen in the world, is directly addressed as Your Majesty.  A queen's name is never used in direct address. When you hear “Queen Elizabeth” in the media, it’s sort of shorthand for Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, Queen of the United Kingdom and Her Other Realms and Territories – which is a mouthful.
    The Prince Philip is not a Highness, he is a Royal Highness, and the correct address would have been Your Royal Highness. 
    Even though The President's addres was a mistake, I am certain the whole thing was unimportant to the The Prince Philip.  British royals are imminently familiar with Americans and our lack of practice with the forms of address used when addressing nobility.
    Second the touching question -- an etiquette question: Mrs. Obama putting her arm around the Queen was a more "familiar" gesture than would be correct by British tradition. Ms. Obama's action does indicate that the Obamas were not as knowledgeable of British traditions as they might have been.
    No one questions the Obamas sincerity or warmth, but the visit was not a personal visit for Barack, Elizabeth, Philip and Michelle ... it was an official, symbolic, photographed (and as such public) first meeting between heads of state. As such, a formal approach would have been appropriate for the situation.
    If I met The President I would not go up and give him the big hug that is common between men in the US nowadays. Out of respect for him and his office ... I would not. He's entitled to his space!
    Same with the Queen. There are a many ways to express warmth, sincerity, interest, and respect without touching -- and touching a royal person is not their tradition.
            -- Robert Hickey

How Does an American Citizen Wear Decorations?
     An American citizen is being inducted into the Royal Institute of Technology in Stockholm.  The event is a white tie and Swedish Royalty will be present.  Here is where we are having trouble.  This American man  will be wearing tails and would like to wear his decorations (he is government ... not military).
     Where should the decorations be displayed?  We were thinking a sash -- but isn't that usually reserved for royalty? We've read that you cannot reverse the sash because that would indicate he was a bastard child of the Royals. That gave us a big laugh. 
     So to wear a sash or to not wear a sash?  If so how?  And if not, where should his decorations be displayed?
     -- Robin Kim, Washington, DC

Dear Ms. Kim:
    Here's the rule: No uniform - no decorations.  As a civilian he would not wear decorations: they are reserved for those in uniform and for royalty.
                  -- Robert Hickey

How to Correct Someone Who Addresses You Incorrectly?
    There has been much talk about Senator Barbara Boxer's request to be addressed as Senator and not Ma'am.  Did General Walsh use an incorrect form of address?  (See the clip on YouTube)
    How do you suggest someone correct another if they are addressed incorrectly?  Is it polite to correct anyone in a public forum like this?  If not, how do you suggest Senator Boxer tackle what appears to be a gender specific problem (always being referred to as “Ma'am”) when her male colleagues are addressed as “Sir” and have no problem with it?
     -- Caroline Allbritain, Fort Wayne, Indiana

Dear Ms. Allbritain:
    This was a clash of cultures.
    In my book I show a Senator is initially addressed in conversation as Senator (name) and then as Senator in extended conversation. On Capital Hill that's the traditional form of address. Senator Boxer was asking for her traditional form of address. (Colleagues of mine point out that the way she did it and her tone of voice was scolding .... and could have been accomplished in a more appropriate manner. )
    Also in my book I show that the military addresses in conversation any superior as (Rank) (name) and then as Sir or Ma'am in extended conversation.  The Brigadier General was showing respect to a superior as it is shown in the armed services.
    I think correcting another as to what your name is or how to correctly pronounce it, is not only correct but can actually be kind. I'd rather learn I am doing it wrong and fix it immediately. None of us like being corrected, but I’d prefer to be corrected than to find I'd been addressing them incorrectly and they didn't bother to correct me.
      I have a colleague who early-on corrected me on the spelling of her first name: I'd misspelled it in an e-mail.  She said ... "Robert, it’s Lesley – not Leslie. Others have misspelled it, but I only correct people I really like." I thought that was a generous and gentle way to let me know I was wrong ... but ... I was still O.K. in her book!
                     -- Robert Hickey

Do You Ever Introduce Yourself with an Honorific?    
   Someone had a question that I couldn't answer but I bet you can! When we were at the part discussing not using honorifics to refer to yourself, someone asked about military titles. Are "General," "Major," or even "Ambassador," and "Mayor" considered honorifics and hence not to be used when referring to oneself? Or can an general introduce himself, "Hello, I am General Bob Smith." I thought it was a good question and told him I would get back to him.
        -- Etiquette Consultant in North Carolina

Dear EC in NC:   
    When people are introducing themselves it depends on how much the person with the 'title' wants the other person to know their "title" is.
    I grew up in Arlington, Virginia, near the Pentagon and can say for certain that officers, in or out of uniform, introduce themselves as "(first name)(last name)".  And last week while applying suntan lotion in my bathing suit on Truro's Ballston Beach on Cape Cod ... I met a someone who identified herself as "Alison Schwartz" an only later did I discover she was a member of the US House of Representatives.
     1) Sometimes -- as a courtesy -- people DO use honorifics to help the new person know who they are.
      E.g., Dr.'s will identify themselves as "Dr (name)" on their voice mail message as so patients know who is receiving the confidential message. Or will identify themselves as "Dr (name)" when they enter the exam room -- meeting a patient for the first time. I like that when I am sitting there undressed in a backless paper gown!
     I've also come across lawyers who give themselves an honorific and identify themselves on the phone as "Attorney (name)" so the caller knows they are speaking to "the attorney" rather than a staff member.
     2) Military: In an official situation they would be in uniform, so armed forces personnel would know their rank since they would recognize the uniforms and insignia. Plus often they'd be wearing a name badge!
     I think an officer might introduce himself or herself to a civilian (who might not know an admiral's from an ensign's uniform) using their rank -- as a courtesy ... to let the civilian know what to call him or her in conversation.
         -- Robert Hickey

May I Sign My Name as "Dr. (Name)"?    
     Increasingly in this country (UK) people with PhDs are signing themselves in their correspondence (such as in e-mail) as Dr (Name). I have always thought that it was bad form to present yourself your title (even Mr.). Shouldn't people use (Name),  PhD and NOT Dr (Name)? Is there is a difference in practice between US and UK?  (By the way, I have a PhD.)
        -- Geoff In London

Dear Geoff in London:
     If you are hand signing your name on a paper letter, use (full name) or (full name)+(post nominals) and below your signature include (type in) your full name and post nominals. In an email, create a signature block with your full name and post nominals.
         -- Robert Hickey

How To Say "Thank You"
In Today's World of Email Communication?
        If a politician does a favor for a citizen, how does the citizen properly thank the politician? I sent a business letter to my local elected official asking for help. He not only responded immediately but acted in less than 24 hours. I am so thankful for his help! A card seems too personal and an email seems too unexceptional. Should I send thanks as a business letter?
          -- Cindy

Dear Cindy:
        A hand-written card expressing thanks is never incorrect. But if you want something more official, write him a letter. In today's world of email and voice mail ... a note or letter gets maximum attention.
       Use a standard business-letter format, address to his office, re-state your request for the record, praise his actions/helpfulness, and end with sincere thanks.
       If you really want to make him happy .... tell him you are going to tell a dozen neighbors about his action.
      -- Robert Hickey