Robert Hickey: A Blog on How to Write Thank-you Notes



ON-LINE GUIDE TO
FORMS OF ADDRESS
* * *
BLOG: Robert HIckey
Answers Questions
From On-Line Users
* * *
VIDEO of Robert Hickey
* * *
About the book:
HONOR & RESPECT

 

Thank You Notes
Questions & Answers, Frequently Asked Questions, and Blog

Site updated by Robert Hickey on September 1, 2010

How to Address a Former President and Former First Lady?            
How to Address a Pastor and His "Professor" Wife?         
How to Address the Wife of an Admiral?      

How to Address a Thank-you Note to a Former President
of the United States and a Former First Lady?

     I was invited to dinner by President George H. W. Bush Sr. and Mrs. Bush last week at the Bush Library and Museum and the Presidential Center. There wasn't a written invitation - it was a verbal invitation - so I don't have something that says  "The President and Mrs. Bush invites you", or "The President invites you" -- so I can be certain exactly who was the host and/or hostess of the event.
    Should a thank you card be written to “The President” only?  Or should it be addressed to "The President and Mrs. Bush"? 
    Should my note be hand written?
    My thought is that the card should be written to the President only, but I'm not sure what is correct.
                                       -- DH and SB in Aerospace.

Dear DH and SB:
    You refer to your host as The President which is not correct for a former President. This event was hosted by “Bush-41” -- a former President is traditionally addressed as Mr. (Surname), in this case Mr. Bush.  Holders of office of which there is only one at a time do not continue to use the "title" after leaving the office (see page 85). They revert to either “The Honorable (full name)” -OR- “Mr./Ms. (surname)” and are identified as "the former …”.
    When Thomas Jefferson left the White House he returned to being Mr. Jefferson. When Dwight Eisenhower returned to Gettysburg he returned to being General Eisenhower.
    If you addressed “Bush-41” as President Bush he would probably not correct you. At the Bush-43 White House they did write the place card for the former Presidents as "President (surname)" as a courtesy, with the reasoning that they are returning to their former home. It remains to be seen it the current administration continues this new style.
     Regarding the thank you note, even though there was no written invitation, it's always correct to thank your host/hostess with a prompt note. Socially when the hosts are a Mr. & Mrs., the note is addressed to the hostess. Mail your hand-written note within 24 hours. Address the envelope to “Mrs. George H.W. Bush.” Use the salutation “Dear Mrs. Bush,.”  If you want to mention your appreciation to the former president, you could include something like “… and please extend my thanks to Mr. Bush” in the text.
             -- Robert Hickey

How To Address a Pastor and His 'Professor' Wife?
     How do I address a thank-you note to a pastor and his wife when both hold doctorates and she is a college professor?
     -- Lucy Hendershott, Great Falls, Virginia


Dear Ms. Hendershott:
    If it's a thank-you note ..  it's social correspondence (as opposed to official correspondence to one or the other's office) so it's easier .... because you don't use their post-nominal initials on social correspondence.
    Put each name a line of its own ... so each gets their full name just right
            The Reverend Dennis Winslow
                and Dr. Marilyn Winslow
                        Street Address
                           
City, State, ZIP
    His name would be first .... as a member of the clergy. Clergy has higher precedence than a private citizen. Even as a professor with a doctorate ... she's a still private citizen.
    You definitely want to avoid forms such as The Reverend and Dr. Winslow or The Reverend Dennis and Dr. Marilyn Winslow
    "The Reverend" always precedes a full name. .... and since she get's "Dr." she'd get her own name. If she didn't have a doctorate .. then this would work:
            The Reverend Dennis Winslow
                and Mrs. Winslow
                    Street Address
                       
City, State, ZIP
         -- Robert Hickey

How To Address the Wife of an Admiral?
      I appreciate your website. I would like to send a thank-you card to the wife of a two-star admiral and I believe it to be appropriate to address it as “Mrs. So-and-so” instead of using "Janet", her first name.  But how do I write it?  Mrs. Admiral William Smith just doesn’t sound right.  What do you think?  Thanks!
 
         -- PSC, San Diego, CA

Dear PSC:
     Official spouses do not receive any special form of address due to the office held by their spouse. (I can's say there are none actually: but, I can only think of two elected or appointed officials anywhere the world whose spouses do.)  Spouses are frequently accorded courtesies that would be show their official spouse, but these are in truth courtesies to the official ... not to the person married to the official.
      My bet is that
to use the most formal form on a thank-you note's envelope to the wife of an admiral is a good idea. The most formal way is to address the envelope as:
            Mrs. William Smith
            (Address)

     and then on the salutation use:
            Dear Mrs. Smith,
     I
f you are on a first-name basis, on the salutation you could use:
            Dear Janet,

     -- Robert Hickey

That helps a lot!  I will address the envelope as you suggest.  Thanks so much for the information.
 
         -- PSC, San Diego 


Not Finding Your Question Answered?
Below are other topics covered in my blog.  If you don't see your question answered send me an e-mail. I am pretty fast at sending a reply and if I think It would be of interest to others, I will post the question and the answer with all the names and personal specifics removed.
                    -- Robert Hickey

USE OF NAMES & HONORIFICS   
Mr., Miss, Jr., III, & Names        
Married Women       
Deceased Persons         
People with Two Titles
Post-Nominal Abbreviations and Initials           
Joint Forms of Address    (How do you write two names?)   

USE OF SPECIFIC OFFICIAL TITLES        
Former Officials            
Professionals and Academics        
United States Federal Officials             
United States State Officials              
United States Municipal Officials             
       All About The Honorable with U.S. Officials         
       Former United States Officials            
United States Armed Services             
       Retired U.S. Armed Service Officers
Tribal Officials             
Clergy and Religious Officials           
Canadian Officials         
Australian Officials          
British Officials, Royalty, and Nobility        
Diplomats and International Representatives
           
Foreign National Officials and Nobility        

SPECIFIC SITUATIONS
Etiquette             
Flags: Traditions and Protocol             
Introductions
            
Invitations: Writing & Addressing
        
Invitations: Just Armed Service Personnel        
Names on Programs, Signs, & on Lists           
Place Cards            

Precedence: Ordering Officials           
Thank You Notes             


Site updated by Robert Hickey on September 1, 2010



     Back to Main Page of the Robert Hickey's BLOG 

Robert Hickey is the author of Honor & Respect:
The Official Guide to Names, Titles, and Forms of Address
Published by The Protocol School of Washington®
Foreword by Pamela Eyring

Copyright © 2010 Robert Hickey.     All Rights Reserved.
Book Photo: Marc Goodman.