| How to Address a Thank-you Note to a Former President of the United States and a Former First Lady? I was invited to dinner by President George H. W. Bush Sr. and Mrs. Bush last week at the Bush Library and Museum and the Presidential Center. There wasn't a written invitation - it was a verbal invitation - so I don't have something that says "The President and Mrs. Bush invites you", or "The President invites you" -- so I can be certain exactly who was the host and/or hostess of the event. Should a thank you card be written to “The President” only? Or should it be addressed to "The President and Mrs. Bush"? Should my note be hand written? My thought is that the card should be written to the President only, but I'm not sure what is correct. -- DH and SB in Aerospace.
Dear DH and SB: You refer to your host as The President which is not correct for a former President. This event was hosted by “Bush-41” -- a former President is traditionally addressed as Mr. (Surname), in this case Mr. Bush. Holders of office of which there is only one at a time do not continue to use the "title" after leaving the office (see page 85). They revert to either “The Honorable (full name)” -OR- “Mr./Ms. (surname)” and are identified as "the former …”. When Thomas Jefferson left the White House he returned to being Mr. Jefferson. When Dwight Eisenhower returned to Gettysburg he returned to being General Eisenhower. If you addressed “Bush-41” as President Bush he would probably not correct you. At the Bush-43 White House they did write the place card for the former Presidents as "President (surname)" as a courtesy, with the reasoning that they are returning to their former home. It remains to be seen it the current administration continues this new style. Regarding the thank you note, even though there was no written invitation, it's always correct to thank your host/hostess with a prompt note. Socially when the hosts are a Mr. & Mrs., the note is addressed to the hostess. Mail your hand-written note within 24 hours. Address the envelope to “Mrs. George H.W. Bush.” Use the salutation “Dear Mrs. Bush,.” If you want to mention your appreciation to the former president, you could include something like “… and please extend my thanks to Mr. Bush” in the text. -- Robert Hickey
How To Address a Pastor and His 'Professor' Wife? How do I address a thank-you note to a pastor and his wife when both hold doctorates and she is a college professor? -- Lucy Hendershott, Great Falls, Virginia
Dear Ms. Hendershott: If it's a thank-you note .. it's social correspondence (as opposed to official correspondence to one or the other's office) so it's easier .... because you don't use their post-nominal initials on social correspondence. Put each name a line of its own ... so each gets their full name just right The Reverend Dennis Winslow and Dr. Marilyn Winslow Street Address City, State, ZIP His name would be first .... as a member of the clergy. Clergy has higher precedence than a private citizen. Even as a professor with a doctorate ... she's a still private citizen. You definitely want to avoid forms such as The Reverend and Dr. Winslow or The Reverend Dennis and Dr. Marilyn Winslow "The Reverend" always precedes a full name. .... and since she get's "Dr." she'd get her own name. If she didn't have a doctorate .. then this would work: The Reverend Dennis Winslow and Mrs. Winslow Street Address City, State, ZIP -- Robert Hickey
How To Address the Wife of an Admiral? I appreciate your website. I would like to send a thank-you card to the wife of a two-star admiral and I believe it to be appropriate to address it as “Mrs. So-and-so” instead of using "Janet", her first name. But how do I write it? Mrs. Admiral William Smith just doesn’t sound right. What do you think? Thanks! -- PSC, San Diego, CA
Dear PSC: Official spouses do not receive any special form of address due to the office held by their spouse. (I can's say there are none actually: but, I can only think of two elected or appointed officials anywhere the world whose spouses do.) Spouses are frequently accorded courtesies that would be show their official spouse, but these are in truth courtesies to the official ... not to the person married to the official. My bet is that to use the most formal form on a thank-you note's envelope to the wife of an admiral is a good idea. The most formal way is to address the envelope as: Mrs. William Smith (Address) and then on the salutation use: Dear Mrs. Smith, If you are on a first-name basis, on the salutation you could use: Dear Janet, -- Robert Hickey That helps a lot! I will address the envelope as you suggest. Thanks so much for the information. -- PSC, San Diego
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