How to Address a Former First Lady?
       How should a letter and envelope to a former First Lady be addressed?  The Honorable ______?
            -- W.T. Wynne

Dear Mr. Wynne:
       A First Lady is not the honorable when her husband is in office -- much less after.
       She might be identified in an introduction as the First Lady of the United States from 1981 to 1989 but she is addressed as a private citizen.
       So, for example, most formally, Nancy Reagan would have been addressed on an envelope as:
              Mrs. Ronald Reagan
              (Address)
       And the salutation would have been:
              Dear Mrs. Reagan
       Laura Bush did use Mrs. Laura Bush sometimes on invitations while she was in The White House, so if you know Mrs. (Her Name) was her preference, you could use it. But using the formal form -- Mrs. (Husband's Name) -- is safe because using a formal form is never wrong.
       Addressing Hillary Clinton is a bit different because she was elected to office -- and is entitled to The Honorable Hillary Rodham Clinton -- in her own right -- and is thus an exception among First Ladies.
     -- Robert Hickey

How to Greet a Foreign First Lady?
    In your book you give forms of address for many First Ladies ... but not specifically for the First Lady of Mexico. I am meeting the wife of the present president of Mexico next week. What is the protocol? What is the correct address? I am male. Thanks.
          -- Vishnu, Ontario Science Center, North York, Ontario

Dear Vishnu:
    Greetings to Toronto. I have several good friends there who are always asking when I am going to visit.  Haven't been in years and it's about time!
    The President of Mexico is Felipe Calderon, and his wife is Margarita Zavala.
    Assuming you are greeting them in English, then verbally address her as:
        Ms. Zavala
    or in an extended conversation as:
        Ma'am
    There is no reason to greet her in anything but English, unless you happen to be fluent in Spanish, and if you are Spanish would of course be appropriate.
    The wife of a foreign head-of-state is granted the courtesies due to her spouse, but actually is not an official herself.
    Be ready to introduce yourself, wait for her to extend her hand, and if she offers it .... shake it. Some traveling officials (and spouses of officials) will want to shake hands with everyone they meet, no matter how many that maybe: but others may not want to … preferring to just nod and smile. Follow her lead.
    Do some research to find out of her personal interests .... why she is visiting ... and either verbally or with your smile extend her warm best wishes for her visit.
    Hope this helps!
      -- Robert Hickey

How to Address the Spouse of a Female President?
Dear Mr. Hickey:
    What is female president's spouse called? The First Gentleman?
        -- Mickey (Michelle) Broom

Dear Ms. Broom:
    First Lady is used to describe the wife of the president of the United States, but it's not a form of address or honorific. The First Lady is addressed as "Mrs. (surname)" so currently that is -- Mrs. Obama.
    The male spouse of a president of the United States would be addressed as Mr. (full name) in writing and Mr. (surname) in conversation.
    
In my book (page 166) I show both the masculine and feminine forms ... but avoid the issue of whether he would be the First Husband and titled the section Spouse of The President.
            -- Robert Hickey

Is a Girlfriend Addressed as "First Lady"?
      I have a question about the title of the Governor of New York's girlfriend. She is Sandra Lee from the food network. What would her title be as his girlfriend? Would she be addressed as the First Lady if they aren't married?  Hope you can help. If she isn't called First Lady, how would she be addressed? Thanks so very much.
        -- PR in Florida

Dear PR,
       Spouses, partners, girlfriends (cousins, children, and nieghbors, etc.) of officials do not receive any forms of address based on their spouse's/ partner's/ boyfriend's office. Spouses typically DO get preferential seating as a courtesy to the official ... e.g., when they are with the official -or- the preferential seat the official would get when they are representing the official.
       Interestingly the First Lady of the United States is not even on The White House's Precedence List ... she has no official standing herself: She is not an official since, she was not elected.
       And while the wife of a President is described as The First Lady ... there is no official form of address. She is addressed as "Mrs. Obama." Yes, you hear newscasters saying "First Lady Michele Obama" ... but that's not a form of address ... its' a newscaster using a shorthand to refer to her in the third person. So Sandra Lee will remain Ms. Sandra Lee.
       If you were to address a social envelope to them, here's how it should look:
              The Honorable Andrew Cuomo
                     and Ms. Sandra Lee
        -- Robert Hickey

How to Refer to a Former
President and First Lady in Text?
      I was thrilled to get your book as a gift. I am enlisting your advice on the correct way to phrase the following message:
    [Company X ] commends the leadership, dedication, and commitment of former president George W. Bush and former first lady Laura Bush in their efforts to provide hope for cancer patients in their fight against cancer.
             -- Nelson Jacques

Dear Mr. Jacques:
    Most formally it would be:
    The [Company X] commends the leadership, dedication, and commitment of The Honorable George W. Bush and Mrs. Bush in their efforts to provide hope for cancer patients in their fight against cancer.
    1. It's not necessary to identify that he was The President and she was the First Lady.
    2. Like Hilary Clinton, Mrs. Bush liked to be referred to by her first and last name .... "Laura Bush" .... so also consider:
    The [Company X] commends the leadership, dedication, and commitment of The Honorable George W. Bush and Laura Bush in their efforts to provide hope for cancer patients in their fight against cancer.
             -- Robert Hickey

What is the DV Code of the First Lady?
      Do you know if the First Lady carries a DV Code?  If so, where can I find this in print?  I tried to Google this information and of course I was directed to your book “Honor & Respect” which I will be purchasing today.
           -- Steven @ The Pentagon

Dear Steven:
    The First Lady [spouse of the POTUS] does not have a DV Code since she does not appear on any precedence list.
    However she is accorded the courtesies due her spouse ... especially when she is there as First Lady & representative of The President. She get's the courtesies of the POTUS even when she is mixed with office-holders who are actually on the precedence list.
    So, while she does not have a Distinguished Visitor Code (DV Code) .... give her a very good seat!
    This is typical for spouses who have a significant hostess functionality in the social aspects of some very high offices such as president, governor, or president of a university.
      -- Robert Hickey

What is the Precedence of Former First Ladies?
     I am working on a report on United States Order of Precedence and in looking at the one you include in your book, what is the precedence for a former first lady (e.g. Hillary Clinton, Laura Bush) when her husband who is still alive is not present? Would Hillary Clinton's status as Secretary of State trump her precedence as a former first lady when she is not with her husband?  I am looking at pages 121-127 in your book, Honor & Respect.
     Thank you, Milton Patel

Dear Mr. Patel:
    The answer to your question is in the difference between "precedence" and "seating."  Think of it this way:
           Precedence is fixed
           Seating is an application of precedence and is event specific.  
    A widow of a former president is the only spouse listed on White House Precedence List. Other organizations have their own precedence lists, but many people look at the White House List as point of reference.
    First Ladies (current and former) have no formal precedence of their own. The preferential treatment they receive is as a courtesy -- based on the precedence of their spouse. (Typically the only courtesy the spouse of any level of official receives is in seating.)
    1) Former First Lady Hillary Clinton's precedence is as the current Secretary of State. When former President Bill Clinton is present, she's moved up and seated as his spouse. The precedence has not changed ... just the seating.
    2) Former First Lady Laura Bush would receive the courtesies due a representative of former President George Bush and her seating would reflect her role at the event.
    So, in summary .... If you have a guest list you can come up with the precedence list.  If you then add a location & occasion you can then discuss the seating.
    Precedence lists are the basis of how a protocol officer would 'start' establishing all physical manifestation of an event ... seating, introductions, the order of who speaks when, who stands where in a receiving line .... etc.
    During The Protocol School of Washington's five-day "Protocol Officer Training"  this is exactly the sort of topic we cover. The training's precedence segment is taught by Diane Brown: I always defer to her on this subject!
    I am glad you referred to my book!
                     -- Robert Hickey