| How Should Jr., II, III, IV, and V Be Used After A Man's Name?
Dear Mr. Hickey:
I am not sure of the name sequence in the following situation. My son is Walter C. Wentz IV. His father and grandfathers are deceased. What is the proper designation for him now? What is the proper designation for the son he is expecting next month? I would very much appreciate your guidance and expert advice.
--- Audrey Parker
Dear Ms. Parker:
The name one uses is up to the person: So Mom, you won't be deciding anything here, you can only advise!
Continued use is often a matter of clarity for those one encounters.
1) Some men drop the sequence post-nominals ... Jr., II, or III ... when their father dies and they think it unlikely there will be social or professional confusion.
2) Some men keep the sequence post-nominals if their father was well-known ... or if they work in the same law firm ... or same company ... and they think the friends/clients/customers will find the designation useful and interesting.
3) One might keep the sequence post-nominals because his mother is Mrs. Walter C. Wentz III and his wife is Mrs. Walter C. Wentz IV and socially that differentiation matters to the family. However since you are using "Audrey Parker" (rather than Mrs. (name)) it won't be confusing.
One situation is seen with Microsoft's Bill Gates, who is really William H. Gates, Jr., but never used the "Jr." Now his father, born William H. Gates uses William H. Gates, Sr. He added the Sr. to clarify that he is not his much more famous son. He probably did not officially change is name in court ... it's just a informal and unofficial change.
So, if your son names his son Walter C. Wentz V, he's probably going to keep using Walter C. Wentz IV. If he names his son Zachery ... his IV becomes less necessary.
-- Robert Hickey
Is Anyone a "Miss" Anymore?
When should I use "Ms." and "Mrs." today? Is anyone a "Miss" anymore?
- AKWP, Storm Lake, Iowa
Dear AKWP:
"Ms." is an honorific for a woman that does not specify marital status. It is now almost always used in the United States the business arena regardless of what the woman chooses to call herself in her private life. "Mrs." is sometimes used in business environments, but only when it is known to be the preference of the bearer.
"Miss" in the United States is rarely used in address except for young girls, perhaps under 12 years of age. Once girls reach, say 13, most people today are addressing envelope to young women as Ms. (full name).
In professional environments outside the United States Ms. is not so ubiquitous: Mrs. (woman’s name) and Miss (name) are common. In many countries Mrs. (woman’s name) is used by working women without any implication of their marital status.
-- Robert Hickey
How Do I Address A Widow?
How do you address an envelope to a widow? My mother says to put Mrs. John Doe. I think that it should be Mrs. Jane Doe, since her husband is no longer alive, why use his name? Is either way correct?
- Blanche Clark
Dear Ms. Clark:
Mrs. John Doe is the traditional form for a widow.
Mrs. Jane Doe is the traditional form for a divorced woman.
Ms. Jane Doe is the contemporary form which does not suggest a marital status.
However, the real answer is you need to find the preference of the person to whom you are addressing the letter. You don't state the nature of the correspondence. She may prefer different forms of her name in different situations. For a wedding invitation from a bride who knew her husband she might prefer Mrs. John Doe but from someone she knows professionally she might prefer Ms. Jane Doe.
My mother was most formally Mrs. Thomas Hickey after my father died. And she would use Margaret Hickey on her checks. But she was never Mrs. Margaret Hickey -- except on those free return-address labels you get in the mail. She didn't like Ms. but I think (in her case) it was a generational thing.
Younger women will be very comfortable being Ms. (given name + surname) in situations where marital status is not an issue. They never used Miss in the same way they did in the early 20th century.
-- Robert Hickey
How Do I Write Place Cards for a Formal Event?
Dear Robert:
I'm putting together place cards for a memorial dinner on April 17. In general, I'm using the form:
Mr. Andy Clark
I choose to use Andy rather than Andrew because this is a social event (actually a formal dinner). Although the event has business overtones as I have a mix of corporate, government, and guests at our tables. Should I use the Andrew form instead of the Andy form?
Which is the right way to go for those with PhD (or equivalent) degrees:
Dr. Michele Gates
Ms. Michele Gates, PhD
Michele Gates, PhD
Ms. Michele Gates
How should I make out these cards?
--- Thanks, Andy
Dear Andy:
Most formal/traditional place card would be just the basic information to help the guest find their seat – (honorific)+(surname):
Mr. Clark
Captain Thompson
Dr. Detweiler
At a an event where the card is printed with the name both sides to provide the names for networking etc. ... you do see full names use the full names (not nick names) like this:
Mr. Andrew Clark
Captain Robert W. Thompson
Dr. Charles Detweiler
Nick names are typically used at a casual event, such as at an in-house event where everyone is already on a first-name basis, or at home.
PhD's in academia and a research use "Dr" ... those who aren't usually don't. So if Michele is a research scientist ... write her card as Dr. Gates. If she's in corporate work, use Ms. Gates.
-- Robert Hickey
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