Should I Include Honorifics and Post-Nominals
With A Person's Name When Naming a Building? 
        Our agency is in the process of naming a building after a deceased Executive Director. We are also having signage placed on the the building. Dr. Delaney earned a Doctorate of Public Administration. Our staff wishes to have the signage on the building as:
                Peter W. Delaney, DPA Head Start Center
        We believe that it should be:
                Dr. Peter W. Delaney Head Start Center
        -- Terry Kelly

Dear T.K.:
        Buildings are usually named for people without honorifics ... Dr., Judge, Senator, Mayor ..... or without post nominals ... MD, PhD, MBA.
        E.g., at the Metropolitan Museum of Art galleries and wings are named:
                The Iris B. and Gerald Canter Exhibition Hall
                The Robert Lehman Wing
                Grace Rainy Rogers Auditorium
        Or at UCLA
                Ackerman Union
                Llewellyn M.K. Boelter Hall
                Almira Hershey Hall
        Based on the examples at leading institutions, the best style would be:
                Peter W. Delaney Head Start Center
        -- Robert Hickey

Should I Include a Courtesy Title
When Naming a Road After a Person?
       I have a question about using “the Honorable”… I just saw a news item in our legislative service this AM and noticed that a former Oklahoma official (now deceased) will have her name on a highway sign as shown below:
      Shelton's authored legislative language that renames a section of Interstate 35 in Atkins' honor. Under the new law, the portion of Interstate 35 in Oklahoma City running north from Northeast 23rd Street to the junction of Interstate 35 and Interstate 44 will now be designated as the "Honorable Hannah Diggs Atkins, Secretary of State, Memorial Highway."
      I think it should say The Honorable Hannah Diggs Atkins, Secretary of State of Oklahoma, Memorial Highway.
      What do you advise?  I have placed a call to the legislator’s office.
            -- CM

Dear CM:
       You are right ... it is always The Honorable.
       However ..."The Honorable" is used in address to living people .... not with the name of a deceased person. Hence you don't see:
              The Honorable George Washington Bridge
              The Honorable Abraham Lincoln Memorial
       It is simply:
              The George Washington Bridge
              The Abraham Lincoln Memorial
       So call them up and make sure they know it should be:
              Hanna Diggs Atkins Memorial Highway
              -- Robert Hickey

The Man's or Woman's Name First
When Naming a Building For a Couple?
       I am creating a rustic wooden sign for my daughter & her husband for their lake house.  I was planning on on putting Todd & Bethany's Lake House on the sign, but my friend insists that there is a rule that Bethany should be first.  Is there a rule on this?
              -- DC

       We are dedicating a building to my mother and father.  Father is deceased.  I know that you write that on letters the woman's name comes first.  Is that rule still applicable in this situation?
        Is this the correct wording?: Dedicated to Jane and John Doe
              -- Sue

Dear DC & Sue,
      There is a rule in forms of address ... that when you write a couple's name on letters, invitations, etc. ... and both parties use the same family name as their joint family name ... you keep "his" name together as a unit:
            Bethany and Todd Wilson
      Rather than:
            Todd and Bethany Wilson
      Other books suggest that the woman's name is always first ... due a "ladies first" rule.
      However I observe on buildings & galleries the name order is often done the other way around – so I cannot say there is a single correct form:
            The Frederick Phineas and Sandra Priest Rose Building 
            The Robert and Renée Belfer Court for Early Greek Art
            Mary and Michael Jaharis Gallery
            Judy and Michael H. Steinhardt Gallery
 Usually when there are honors or donations involved I am certain there is deference to the personal preference of the person being honored or donating the money.
           -- Robert Hickey

How to Write a Couple's Name On a Donor List
When the Husband is a City Councilman?
     I am President of our Friends of the Library and are engraving some bricks for a new sidewalk path being installed.  We are including our Council Members and their wives, but are unsure the proper way of titling them.   We are given 3 rows of 16 characters or spaces each.  Would you please provide us some guidance?
     Would we list them as:
            Council Member Drexel and Kate Douglas
            Council Member Drexel & Kate Douglas
            Council Member Pam and Adam Steel
            Council Member Pam & Adam Steel
     Or some other variation?  We are trying to make this a surprise so have not approached any of them or City Hall.
            -- Jack Scott

Dear Mr. Scott,
    Hummmm. The options you suggest are awkward because you are combining official and social forms of address ... including an official's elected office ... with .... the couple's names in an social way.
    Members of city councils are typically addressed on an envelope or in the letter by whatever honorific they are entitled to (Mr./Ms./Dr./etc.), and identified as a member of a council: Mr. Drexel Douglas, Member, Hudson County Council
     You would never see Senator Evan and Susan Bayh in Washington. Formally when someone holds an office they get their name as a unit ... so .... Senator Evan Bayh and Mrs. Bayh ... is correct ... and is how an invitation would be better addressed to them.
     If you are limited for space and must include spouses, include the names and leave off the Council Member.  Bricks are permanent, membership on the city council is fleeting.
         -- Robert Hickey

How An Organization Should Write a Couple's Name
On a Donor's List When One Has a Special Title?
We are figuring out how to request or names be listed on a donor's list. We see in your book that the most formal way to write our names is Ambassador Kenneth Cole Britt and Mrs. Britt. BUT I want both our names listed and for my wife not to be listed as Mrs. Britt. We are thinking of -- Ambassador Kenneth Cole and Mary Leighton Britt.  I've seen that form used at many museums. Technically I am The Honorable but you don't see that very often in this sort of list. Right?
        -- Ken

Dear Ambassador Britt,
     The Honorable (a courtesy title) is used by others addressing you -- not by you presenting your own name. So, it is reasonable if an organization is honoring a donor, they could indeed list the individual as the Honorable and list your wife with no honorific:
              The Honorable Kenneth Cole Britt and Mary Leighton Britt
     But if you prefer to see ambassador used with your full name, that is in the style of you presenting your own name  -- and that is reasonable too.
              Ambassador Kenneth Cole Britt and Mary Leighton Britt
    This logic applies to others who hold other ranks:
              Senator Kenneth Cole Britt and Mary Leighton Britt
              Judge Kenneth Cole Britt and Mary Leighton Britt
              Pastor Kenneth Cole Britt and Mary Leighton Britt
     All could have the Honorable or the Reverend before their name when addressed by others, but not using their courtesy title is O.K. on a list:
      -- Robert Hickey

How to Include a Deceased Husband With
The Living Family Member's Names?
      A "Special Tribute Book", is being put together to commemorate our Rabbi's 25th Anniversary.  I have been requested to submit, in writing, how I would like my contribution to be listed under "Name/Family Names".  I would like to include my deceased husband's name, as well as my first name, and include the names of our children.
     Would you assist me with proper wording?  For example, Mrs. Robert G. Green, (Pearl), and adult children Michael, Russell, Edward, and Rebecca.
     My husband died just over one year ago.  We were married fifty six years ago, in this temple.
     Please send a speedy reply, if possible.
           -- Pearl

Dear Pearl:
     I'm not crazy about "her adult children" ... and I think you should include your name and your husband's name. I've seen Mrs. Robert G. Green (Pearl) used here and there, but I think it's awkward.
     How about: Pearl B. Green with her children Michael, Russell, Edward, and Rebecca in memory of Robert G. Green.
     In identifying them as "her chlidren" and everyone will know, or be able to figure out, you are also Mrs. Robert G. Green.
     What do you think?
      -- Robert Hickey

     I'm going to go with your suggestion: Pearl B. Green with her children Michael, Russell, Edward, and Rebecca in memory of Robert G. Green.
     I read the exact wording to our son, Michael, and asked him if it sounded right to him, or needed to be rephrased?  His said, "Mom, I think it is great!"  That's all I needed to hear.  He's been a blessing to me, from the moment his Dad brought him into my life, fifty-seven years ago! 
    Thank you, again. I wish you well.  You have been most helpful.
           -- Pearl

How to Write the Name of a Deceased Person
On a Certificate of Recognition?
       Our parish is celebrating its 50th Anniversary. We are giving Certificates of Recognition to honor our Founding Parishioners.  My question is how to list a couple when one person is deceased?  The committee recommends putting the living person’s name first, following by the deceased spouse.
        Example:
                If the husband is deceased: Mary & Joseph Smith
                If the wife is deceased: Joseph & Mary Smith
        After reading your online information under “Deceased,” I don’t think this is correct.
        Should it be:
               Mary & the late Joseph Smith (if the husband is deceased)
                        and
              The late Mary & Joseph Smith (if the husband is deceased)
        Or can it be:
               Mary & Joseph (cross) Smith (if the husband is deceased);
                        and
               Mary (cross) & Joseph Smith (if the wife is deceased).
       It is common in our Church to designate someone is deceased by placing a small cross after their name.
              -- Powell Dean

Dear Mr. Dean:
       The committee's suggested style is something I have never heard of, and don't think makes much sense.
       If you are honoring the founding parishioners -- I would list their names without reference to whether the are alive or dead: they were alive when they were founding to the parish!
              Thomas James Smith and Mary Wilson Smith
              Mary and Thomas Smith
      I question why it's necessary to note who is living and who is dead -- how is this pertinent? Does the committee want historians to be able to look back and know who was alive at the 50th Anniversary Celebration?
       -- Robert Hickey

 When to Change Someone's Name in a List?
      I recently reviewed a mailing list for a performing arts organization.  I found two entries that listed a wife and her recently deceased husband.  My habit has always been to correct these to simply Mrs. John Smith.
      But I was informed by our data base manager that when we have a member who feels very strongly that the surviving spouse has the final say regarding such a deletion.
      Personally, I am not comfortable with calling up a member that I might not know very well with such a question.  And at the same time, I fear that if the mailing address lists both spouses, it will be interpreted as a sign of ignorance or lack of attention to detail. 
     Thank you for any advice that you can offer.
                  -- M.M.

Dear M.M.,
       I have not met a widow who would want her mail addressed as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, so it seems like an odd position for the data base manager to hold.
       I agree with you if one continues to address a widow as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith …. It does imply you are unaware of his death.
       But ultimately our name belongs to us and we should be consulted before someone else decides it is to be changed. So that call you are avoiding is one option. Or since you are a performing arts organization and she may currently hold a dual membership, she will indicate how she wants her membership revised when she renews -- Right?
       People respond to death in so many ways. My father had two sisters, Anna and Mary, who never married and continued to live with their parents. When the last one died in her 90's I discovered that while their parents had been dead for more than 50 years …. the phone was still listed in their father's (my grandfather's) name. They never changed it!  So some people hold on!
            -- Robert Hickey

Dear Robert,
     Thank you so much for your thoughtful and logical response.  And for the poignant note about your maiden aunts.  I'm sure family reunions were very memorable.
                  -- M.M.

How to Refer to Retired Armed Forces Personnel In Text?
       I saw on your website that you are welcome to questions in reference to addressing someone. I am looking for information on how to address a retired Command Sergeant Major William Smith in an article for a magazine. I want to quote him ... What is the right way to do this?
              -- CW3 Gillen

Dear CW3 Gillen,
    If you are writing about person in a magazine article, you are actually referring to him in the third person ... so it is not a direct form of address. This is really an editorial style question ... but I have some information on it.
    Anyone who is retired and wishes continue to use their rank socially is authorized to do so by DoD documents. In official situations they are directed to include that they are "Retired" or "Ret." ... in the formula [Rank] [Full Name], [Branch of Service], [Retired]
    Refer to him the first time as:
             Command Sergeant Major William Smith, USA, Retired
    Then you've established that he's retired
    Thereafter in article refer to him as:
             Command Sergeant Major Smith
             CSM Smith
              -- Robert Hickey

Are Ranks & Offices Capitalized?
      When you have already referred to Captain Smith in a work of fiction, for instance, and then refer to THIS PARTICULAR CAPTAIN SMITH again, and it is clear from the context (because, perhaps, he is the only CAPTAIN spoken of in the text) does one capitalize the C in captain? (that's when no Smith appears.)
       Captain Smith was a tough officer. When the Captain greeted us OR When the captain greeted us   
                   -- Jerome S. T.

Dear Jerome S. T.:
        This is really a copy editing question ... rather that a form of address question ... but I know the answer.
        Proper names are always capitalized ... so when you refer to a specific "Captain" by rank-only ... it is capitalized just like it is a name:
            When the Captain arrives we will have dinner.
            The President and Mrs. Obama will travel to the United Kingdom.
            Please ask the Ambassador if he wants milk in his tea.
When you refer to the rank, but not to a specific person,  it is not capitalized:
            The ranks of captain in the USN and captain in the USA are not equivalent.
            The office of president of the United States has a term of four years
            An accredited ambassador from the Federal Republic of Germany has not been assigned.
                   -- Robert Hickey

What To Call Judges & Justices in a Court Report?
     As a court reporter, it is standard for us to indicate who is speaking by putting, e.g., “MR. JONES:” and then follow with his comments.  I have questions regarding how to indicate individuals when “Mr.” or “Ms.” is not sufficient.
     When a former chief justice of a state supreme court speaks, is it preferred to keep the title and put “CHIEF JUSTICE (last name):” or “CHIEF JUSTICE (full name):” or “THE HONORABLE (full name):” or “MR. JONES:” or something else?
     As to a person who is currently serving on the U.S. Court of Appeals, should that person be shown as “THE HONORABLE (full name):” or something else?  Can one serve without being a judge?
       Thanks very much for your help, as I do not want to indicate disrespect by not using the correct title.
       -- Sandi Lyonnaise

Dear Sandi,
    You write: As a court reporter, it is standard for us to indicate who is speaking by putting, e.g., “MR. JONES:” and then follow with his comments.  I have questions regarding how to indicate individuals when “Mr.” or “Ms.” is not sufficient.
    The issue here is what is a form of address? vs. what is the editorial style to use when referring to a person in the third person in text -- so the reader will be clear who you are discussing?
    Your question is a matter of editorial style rather than a form of address. In a court report, if a person has a special function, it makes sense to continue to use his or her "title" for clarity ... rather than just "Mr./Ms."
    A form of address is what you use when directly speaking or writing TO the person. The President of the United States is directly addressed as "Mr. President" and referred to by his staff as "The President"  His name is never used.
    However, reporters refer to him as  "Obama"   "Barack Obama"  "President Obama"  and even  "Mr. Obama."  None of those are forms of address ... but are clear in news report who the reporter is referring to.
    If you meet him ... call him "Mr. President" ... not "President Obama."

    You write: When a former chief justice of a state supreme court speaks, is it preferred to keep the title and put “CHIEF JUSTICE (last name):” or “CHIEF JUSTICE (full name):” or “THE HONORABLE (full name):” or “MR. JONES:” or something else?
    If they are speaking from an official position... then you could refer to them as a "Justice"
    If not ... "The Honorable" would be complete correct and more accurate, since he continues to be "The Honorable" forever.
    Since there is only one chief justice, a former chief justice is not formally addressed as "chief justice" since it would be disrespectful to the current office holder.  Especially in the present of a current "Chief Justice."

    You write: As to a person who is currently serving on the U.S. Court of Appeals, should that person be shown as “THE HONORABLE (full name):” or something else?  Can one serve without being a judge?
    A judge is "The Honorable (Full Name)" in writing ... and in a salutation or conversationally is "Judge (Surname).
    If he or she is on a court ... he or she is a judge or justice as far as I know.

Wow. that was a lot!
If this sort of thing comes up often, you need a copy of my book!
       -- Robert Hickey

How to List Active Duty, Retired and
Veteran's Names in a Single List?
      I am tasked with putting together a program at our school designed to honor veterans at our Veteran's Day assembly. I have the names, branches of service, and rank of each individual. I cannot find the appropriate way to put that information in text for our presentation. I want to do it correctly and know there must be some protocol we should follow. I do not want to offend anyone present who might know that protocol. As you would guess, I have all ranks and branches represented. 
     -- TR

Dear TR,
      Here's how it is done at official events:
            If they are currently serving on active duty:
                  Captain William Smith, USA
                  CPT William Smith, USA
            If they retired after twenty years service:
                  Captain William Smith, USA, Retired
                  Captain William Smith, USA, Ret.
                  CPT William Smith, USA, Retired
                  CPT William Smith, USA, Ret.
      If they are a veteran [they voluntarily left the service before serving 20 years and earning a retirement, resigning and being discharged] they are not addresses 'by rank' -- that is they addressed using their rank as part of their name. So it has to go after their name when included. Here are some options:
                  William Smith (Captain, USA)
                  William Smith: Captain, U.S. Army
      List veterans as a separate group. I'd list them by category in this order:
            Active
            Retired
            Veterans
      Within each category -- first in order by rank. If you have more than one with the same rank, then in order by the date of rank. 
      Sometimes veterans say that they should be able to use their former ranks just like retirees …but the Department of Defense in it's regulations is clear that only fully retired personnel are addressed by rank.
            -- Robert Hickey

Not Finding Your Question Answered?
Below are other topics covered in my blog and at right is a list of officials, Between the two I probably have what you are looking for.
     After hunting around a bit, if you don't see your question answered send me an e-mail. I am pretty fast at sending a reply: usually the next day (unless I am traveling.)
      If I think your question is of interest to others, I will post the question & answer – with your name and any personal specifics changed.
      -- Robert Hickey

USE OF NAMES & HONORIFICS   
Mr., Miss, Jr., III, & Names        
Married Women       
Deceased Persons         
People with Two Titles
Post-Nominal Abbreviations and Initials           
Couples: Joint Forms of Address    (How to address a couple?)   

USE OF SPECIFIC OFFICIAL TITLES        
Former Officials            
Professionals and Academics        

United States Federal Officials, Currently In Office             
United States State Officials, Currently In Office              
United States Municipal Officials, Currently In Office             
       All About The Honorable with U.S. Officials         
       Former United States Officials of all types             
United States Armed Services, Active Duty             
       Addressing Retired Personnel      
       Use of Rank by Retired Personnel      
       Use of Rank by Veterans      

Tribal Officials             
Clergy and Religious Officials           
Canadian Officials         
Australian Officials          
British Officials, Royalty, and Nobility        
Diplomats and International Representatives            
Foreign National Officials and Nobility        

SPECIFIC SITUATIONS
Business Cards       
Couples        
Etiquette             
Flags and Anthem Protocol             
Introductions            
Invitations: Writing & Addressing         
Invitations: Just Armed Service Personnel        
Name Tags            
Names on Programs, Signs, & Lists            
Naming a Building or Road            
Place Cards            
Plaques, Awards, Diplomas, Certificates    
Precedence: Ordering Officials           
Thank You Notes             

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Robert Hickey is the author of Honor & Respect:
The Official Guide to Names, Titles, and Forms of Address
Published by The Protocol School of Washington®
Foreword by Pamela Eyring

Copyright © 2013 Robert Hickey.     All Rights Reserved.
Book Photo: Marc Goodman.