|
|
|
| Abbess, Christian Orthodox Abbot, Christian Orthodox Accountant Acting Official Adjutant General Admiral Admiral, Texas Navy Adventist Minister Alderman Archbishop, Catholic Archbishop, Christian Orthodox Archdeacon, Episcopal Archimandrite Architect Archpriest Ambassador to the U.S. from a foreign country Ambassador of the U.S. American Indian Chief Assemblyman U.S., State / or Assemblywoman Associate Justice, U.S. Supreme Court Associate Justice of a State Supreme Court Astronaut Attorney Attorney General Attorney General, Assistant Attorney, U.S. Australian Officials
Baron, Baroness British Officials, Royalty, Nobility Brother, Catholic Brother, Christian Orthodox Bishop, Catholic Bishop, Christian Orthodox Bishop, Episcopal Board Member Boy Brigadier General Business Cards
Canadian Officials Candidate Captain, USA, USAF, USMC Cardinal Chairman Federal Reserve Chairwoman Chancellor Chaplain in the Armed Services Chaplain of Congress Chargé d’Affaires Chief Executive Officer Chief Judge Chief Justice, U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice, of a State Supreme Court Chief of Police Chief of Staff Chief Operating Officer Child Chiropractor City Manager Clergy & Religious Officials Club Official Colonel, Kentucky Colonel, USA, USAF, or USMC Commandant Commissioner, Court Commissioner Commodore of a Yacht Club Congressman, U.S. Congresswoman, U.S. Consul and or Consul General Consultant Corporate Executive Councilman Councilwoman Counselor (Diplomat) Countess County Officials Couples Curator
Dalai Lama Deacon Dean, academic Dean, clergy Deceased Persons Delegate, U.S., State Dentist Deputy Chief of Mission Deputy Marshal Designate, Elect, Pro Tempore Diplomats District Attorney Doctor, Chiropractor Doctor of Dentistry Doctor of Medicine Doctor, Military Doctor of Veterinary Medicine Doctor of Osteopathy Doctor, Other Disciplines Doctorate Doctorate, honorary
Earl Elect, Designate Pro Tempore Emeritus/emerita Eminence Emperor Engineer Etiquette Excellency
Family Fiancee Firefighter First, Second, Third, etc. First Lady, Spouse of the President of the United States First Lady, Member of Her White House Staff First Lady, Spouse of a Governor or Lt. Gov. First Lieutenant Flag Protocol Former Officials Freeholder
Gay Couple Geshe General USA, USAF, USMC Girl Governor General Governor, Lieutenant Governor, Lt., Spouse Governor, Tribal Council Governor, U.S. State Governor, Former Governor Spouse of Governor's Staff, Member of Governors, Board of
High Commissioner Honorable, The Honorary degrees Honourable, The Indian Chief Inspector General Interim Official Introductions Invitations Writing & Addressing Invitations Military: Writing & Addressing
Judge, former Judge of US City or US Count Judge, US Federal Junior, Senior, I, II, III, etc. Justice, Associate Federal Supreme Court Justice, Associate State Supreme Court
King Knight
Late, The (deceased persons) Lawyer Lesbian Couple Lieutenant Lieutenant Colonel, USA, USAF, USMC Lieutenant General, USA, USAF, USMC Lieutenant Governor
Major USA, USAF, USMC Major General, USA, USAF, USMC Man, business Man, social Marquess / Marchioness Married Women Marshal for a Judicial District, U.S. Mayor, U.S. City Mayor, Canadian City Mayor Pro Tempore Mayor, Vice Medic Minister, Protestant Clergy Miss Monk, Christian Orthodox Monsignor Most Reverend, The Mother Superior Mr. (Social) Mr. (Business) Mrs., Ms. (Use, Social Forms) Mrs. vs. Ms. Mr. & Mrs. / Couples
Name Tags Nobility, British Nobility, Other Nun, Catholic Nun, Orthodox Nurse Officer, Police Pastor, Christian Clergy Patriarch, Christian Orthodox Patriarch, Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople People with Two Titles Permanent Representative Petty Officer Pharmacist Physician PhD Place Cards Police Chief Police Officer Pope, Catholic Pope, Coptic Postmaster General Post-Nominal Abbreviations Presbyter, Orthodox President, corporate President of College or University President of a US State Assembly President (current) of the U.S.A. President (former) of the U.S.A. President of the U.S.A., spouse of President-elect of the U.S. Priest, Catholic Priest, Christian Orthodox Priest, Episcopal Prime Minister Principal Professionals & Academics Professor Pro Tempore, Elect, Designate Psychologist
Queen Rabbi Ranger, Texas Representative, U.S., Federal Representative, U.S., State Resident Commissioner Retired Military 1. Formula For How to Address 2. Q&A / Blog On Use of Rank by Retired Military 3. Q&A / Blog on How to Address Retired Military Reverend, The Right Reverend, The
Same Sex Couple School Board Member Second Lieutenant Secretary, U.S. Department, Member of the Cabinet Secretary of Defense, U.S. Secretary, Assistant Secretary General of the U.N. Senator, U.S., Federal Senator, U.S., State Senator, Canadian Senior, Junior, I, II, III, etc. Senior Judge Sergeant Sergeant at Arms Seventh Day Adventist Minister Sheriff Sister, Catholic Solicitor General Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives. Specialist Spouse of the President of the U.S. Spouse of the Vice President of the U.S. Spouse of an Elected Official Surgeon General Texas Ranger Town Manager The Honorable Tribal Officials Two Titles, Person With Under Secretary US Attorney US Federal Officials US State Officials US Municipal Officials
Venerable, The Veteran (not Retired) Veterinarian Very Reverend, The VFW Officer/Official Vice Mayor Vice President of the U.S. Spouse of the Vice President of the U.S. Vice President-elect of the U.S. Viscount and/or Viscountess Warrant Officer Widow White House Staff Woman, business Woman, social Yacht Club Officer
|
| |
|
| How to Address Couples: Joint Forms of Address Questions & Answers, Frequently Asked Questions, and Blog
Site updated by Robert Hickey on May 25, 2013
|
| Whose Name is First - the Gentlemen or the Lady - in Joint Address? How to Address a Couple: Mr. & Mrs.? or Given Names?
How To Address Two Individuals -- Not a Couple? Same Sex Couples
How to Address an Engaged Couple?
How to Address a Couple: Both are Doctors? How to Address a Couple: She is a Dr., He is a Mr.
How to Address an Attorney and Spouse?
How to Address a Pastor and His Professor Wife? How to Address a Pastor and His Pastor Wife? How to Address a Pastor and Her Husband? How to Address a Pastor and Her Military Husband? How to Address a Dean and His Wife? How To Write My Name as Mayor with My Doctor Husband? How To Write the Name of the Mayor and Her Doctor Husband? How To Address a Mayor and His Wife? How To Address a Member of a City Council & His/Her Spouse?
How To Address a Military Officer and Spouse? How To Address Married Military Officers with the Same Rank? How To Address Married Military Officers with the Same Rank: One is Active Duty, the Other is Retired? How To Address Married Military Officers with Different Ranks? How to Address a Military Officer and a Spouse Who Is a Medical Doctor? How to Address a Military Officer and a Spouse Who Is a Dentist? How To Address a Retired Military Officer and Spouse? How To Address a Retired Military Officer and Spouse is a Retired Judge?
How to Write the Names on an Invitation?
How To Address The President and First Lady? How to I Autograph a Book to The President and First Lady? How to Address The Vice President and Spouse? How To Address a former US President and First Lady? How To Address an Invitation to Hillary and Bill Clinton? How to Address an Ambassador and Her Husband? How to Address a Former US Senator and His Wife? How To Address a US Representative and His Wife ? How To Address Two Honorables?
|
| How to Address a Mr. & Mrs. on an Invitation Or How Can I Use Her First Name Too? I'm addressing invitations and wondering what the best way is to include the first names of both spouses. Which way is more correct: Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe or Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe? Or is there a better way than this? -- Lynna Dear Lynna, The forms you mention are awkward ... and I think the reason is: Mr. and Mrs. (His Full Name) is traditional/formal. (First Name) + (First Name) + (Surname) is casual/informal. The forms you mention are a little bit formal and a little bit casual, and end up being odd. -- Robert Hickey Dear Mr. Hickey I'm realize that traditionally, a formal invitation should be addressed to Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. However, I find it offensive to omit the female's name and wish to find a formal way of including it. This is actually a HUGE topic right now amongst women. Many are of the mindset that when etiquette becomes offensive, then its no longer proper etiquette. So, this debate has blossomed to figure out the best way to include both people's names and to perhaps give up the "don't separate a man from his name" tradition or to start putting the wife's name first even if she's not using Ms. and so forth. Consequently, people are just making up their own way to do it and there isn't continuity. However, It seems they are yearning for continuity but can't decide on the appropriate alternative. To be honest, I don't think either Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe or Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe sound good. Perhaps it's just awkward because it's new? I suppose other options could be Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Doe, or Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe. -- Lynna
Dear Lynna, Thanks for your thoughtful note. Etiquette is something that (1) changes over time (2) is specific to a situation, and (3) is specific to a group. So it's not etiquette that is offensive ... it's that rules that work in one place, won't necessarily work everyplace. What I suggest in my book is always the most formal option -- one can be done consistently for a wide variety of guests. And yes, the forms I present may be too formal for every situation. The people who use my book are usually people working for high officials ... perhaps in their office .... or organizing events where the guests include some high officials ... military officers, elected officials, ambassadors, clergy, academics, and international visitors. In those places you need to have a single style for all the types of names you write. What works best when addressing people from many different places ends up being the most formal. The White House, The U.S. Supreme Court, and many Governors' offices use my book. But when my niece, Kathleen, got married she didn't follow what's in my book for everyone! But, for certain people accustomed to formality ... she did.
So since you asked ... why not address the invitations as you think the guest would like their name to appear when they get the envelope? (1) Casual for people you know would perhaps think casual will right: Jane and John Doe (2) Formal for people who will prefer the formal way: Mr. and Mrs. John Doe (3) And formal for people you don't know very well ... since when in doubt going formal is always safe. It's easier to explain being over dressed at a party than being under dressed ... so being more formal is easier to explain than being too informal. -- Robert
How An Organization Should Write a Couple's Name On a Donor's List When One Has a Special Title? We are figuring out how to request or names be listed on a donor's list. We see in your book that the most formal way to write our names is Ambassador Kenneth Cole Britt and Mrs. Britt. BUT I want both our names listed and for my wife not to be listed as Mrs. Britt. We are thinking of -- Ambassador Kenneth Cole and Mary Leighton Britt. I've seen that form used at many museums. Technically I am The Honorable but you don't see that very often in this sort of list. Right? -- Ken
Dear Ambassador Britt, The Honorable (a courtesy title) is used by others addressing you -- not by you presenting your own name. So, it is reasonable if an organization is honoring a donor, they could indeed list the individual as the Honorable and list your wife with no honorific: The Honorable Kenneth Cole Britt and Mary Leighton Britt But if you prefer to see ambassador used with your full name, that is in the style of you presenting your own name -- and that is reasonable too. Ambassador Kenneth Cole Britt and Mary Leighton Britt This logic applies to others who hold other ranks: Senator Kenneth Cole Britt and Mary Leighton Britt Judge Kenneth Cole Britt and Mary Leighton Britt Pastor Kenneth Cole Britt and Mary Leighton Britt All could have the Honorable or the Reverend before their name when addressed by others, but not using their courtesy title is O.K. on a list: -- Robert Hickey How to Write the Names of a University President and Spouse on an Wedding Invitation? I love your book, but have a question about University Presidents. I am working on a wedding invitation where the father of the bride is the president of a university. When invitations go out from the university we use "President and Mrs. John Jones request the pleasure . . ." Should the wedding invitation be worded as "President and Mrs." , "Dr. and Mrs." or "President Dr. and Mrs."? Also, when dealing with an honorary doctorate, do you write out "Doctor" on formal invitations as you do with medical doctors? -- Evelyn Cotton
Dear Ms. Cotton, Definitely not President Dr. Two honorifics are not traditionally combined in the United States. Formally it would be either: Dr. John Jones and Mrs. Jones Or: Dr. and Mrs. John Jones The latter is also O.K., it is just less formal than the first form, but is useful when the name is long and space is an issue (clearly not with a name like John Jones.) Regarding the abbreviation of doctor, Dr. is correct even on formal invitations. Dr., Mr., Mrs. are abbreviations all used on invitations. University presidents are not typically addressed as President (Surname) except in circumstance where they are in the midst of their official duties and someone wants to emphasize his/her office. University presidents are normally addressed by whatever honorific they are entitled to, typically Dr. and then identified by their office as in: Dr. John Jones, President of the University of Delaware -- Robert Hickey How to Include the Mother's Given Name on the Host Line? The bride's parents are married but have always maintained different last names. Both have PhD's. So I think we just list us both with Dr. and list the woman (me) first. That's the social rule. That's the easy part. The part I am struggling with is with the groom's parents. They are married with same last name: the father has a Ph.D., groom's mother does not. The groom's mother wants her first name mentioned. So Dr. & Mrs. John Minton doesn't work. How do I make the program's two sets of names look consistent as they will be right next to each other? Parents of the Bride: Dr. Jean Wennick and Dr. David Dexter Parents of the Groom: Mrs. Suzanne and Dr. John Minton Mrs. Suzanne Boss and Dr. John Minton Dr. & Mrs. John and Suzanne Minton Or just list us all, one name at a time: Dr. Jean Wennick Dr. David Dexter Mrs. Suzanne Minton Dr. John Minton Or what? Thank you for your help!!! -- Jean W.
Dear Jeane W., You are right, what would be traditionally correct is: Dr. Jean Wennick and Dr. David Dexter Dr. and Mrs. John Minton request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children There is a reason why this is a problem without an elegant solution: Some names in your proposed invitation are formal and presented in the traditional way: Dr. Jean Wennick and Dr. David Dexter But the groom's parents names are sort of free style: Mrs. Suzanne Minton and Dr. John Minton If the groom's mother wants her name listed as Mrs. Suzanne Minton (Mrs. (Woman's given name)(Surname) is the traditional form for a divorced woman) … then you are stuck with it. Good news is that using "and" between the names indicates they are a couple. When the names of parents on an invitation are presented without an "and" between them, it indicates they are divorced. You are stuck with something that is a combination of formal and informal … but if everyone is accepting it … that's probably more important than following the rules? Right? FYI, a more elegant, less formal solution is not to use any honorifics: Jean Wennick and David Dexter Suzanne and John Minton request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children But, I realize, this may not be acceptable to all the doctors! -- Robert Hickey
How to Write The Names of Two CPA's as Hosts? How should I write our names as the hosts and honorary chairs of a fundraising event if my husband and I are both CPA’s and it is an event where the majority of the participants will be CPA’s. I use my maiden name professionally. Will they know we are married? Is this proper:
Mr. and Mrs. Roland Rodgers, CPA and Linda Fernandez, CPA Honorary Co-Chairs
-- Linda Fernandez
Dear Ms. Fernandez: Several rules apply in joint forms of address. #1 rule is – if you and your spouse use different surnames ... you each use your (given name)+(surname). #2 rule is – you get an honorific or a post-nominal abbreviation ... never both. Your husband is either Mr. Roland Rodgers or Roland Rodgers, CPA ... never Mr. Roland Rodgers, CPA #3 rule is that the "and" between the names of the hosts on a wedding invitation would indicate you are married, however on business occasions (not at a private social event) the concept is that your marital status is actually not pertinent. #4 Traditionally post-nominal abbreviations like CPA are not used on social correspondence. So I would use just your names and not include your CPAs. But if you want to use them on this invitation for this fundraiser, then use: Roland Rodgers, CPA and Linda Fernandez, CPA Check out the posting I have on my page on Invitations. If you encounter this sort of thing often, my book has a complete chapter on joint forms of address. -- Robert Hickey
How to Include a Wife's Name the Host Line on an Invitation? A physician and his wife are co-chairing a hospital event. How do I recognize them on the invitation? Are these the only two options? Dr. and Mrs. John Doe John and Mary Doe Anyway to include the wife's first name and also mention husband is a MD?? ~ FLT in Lynn, MA
Dear FLT: When you want to include the wife's given name, and they are just Mr. and Mrs. a good option is to present their names informally and to drop the honorifics entirely: John and Mary Doe Post-nominal abbreviations are not used on social correspondence and invitations, but one could say this is an official function and he is there hosting in an official activity. So you could also argue that using the M.D. might solve the problem: John Doe, M.D. and Mary Doe Have you asked them their preference? That might solve things quickly. But, that said, traditionally and formally it would be either: Dr. John Doe and Mrs. Doe Dr. and Mrs. John Doe The issue for many people writing an invitation for their event is – for them it is a formal event – but it is actually not that formal (compared to a State Dinner at The White House.) I'd suggest they create their dream 'formal looking invitation' but use casual wording that reflects their more informal/casual style. The invitation should reflect the event, and not every event or invitation has to be formal. If it is to be a formal invitation, then the traditions for how names are presented with honorifics and titles on formal invitations work well. -- Robert Hickey
How To List Hosts, Who are the Children of the Honorees? I am writing to obtain your help in answering a question for my husband’s parent’s 50th Wedding Anniversary invitation. My husband, Tom, and I will host the event. What is the proper way to list our names? His parent's names? The children of … Dick and Jeane Merrill Mr. and Mrs. Richard Merrill - Barbara Merrill
Dear Ms. Merrill: I am not so sure you need to identify yourselves as children. List the hosts as the hosts -- and people will either know ... or figure it out! Use whatever level of formality you want ... as long as you do it consistently. So ... to honor first
To honor
Dick and Jeane Merrill on their fiftieth wedding anniversary Tom and Barbara Merrill invite you to a cocktail buffet Saturday, the twenty first of June at seven o'clock The Century Club Athens, Georgia
Or list the hosts first and the honorees second
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Merrillrequest the pleasure of your companyat a dinner danceIn honor of thefiftieth wedding anniversaryof Mr. and Mrs. Richard MerrillSaturday, the twenty first of Juneat seven o'clockThe Century ClubAthens, Georgia
-- Robert Hickey
How A Host Uses The Honorable on an Invitation? I am writing with a question regarding the use of the Honorable in listings of names that are included on invitations. I work in the communications office at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, N.Y. We hold many events on campus that often include invited guests of our President, Dr. Shirley Ann Jackson, former chairman of the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. We are responsible for creating many materials including invitations and programs-for these events. Our specific question is, how should we refer to Dr. Jackson on our invitations and programs, and what is the proper etiquette for listing titles for individuals who hold many degrees (both earned and honorary) and are also current or past holders of government offices and are "Honorables". Example: Is it proper to say, The Honorable Shirley Ann Jackson, Ph.D., invites you to join her and the 2010 Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute Honorary Degree Recipients as they come together to discuss Re-Igniting the Innovation Economy: Science and Technology. I had read that it is NOT proper for someone who is an Honorable to use it in an invitation. Please advise. -- DP
Dear DP: I've driven by Renssalaer many times ... so I am happy to see your note. What a fantastic institution.
USE OF THE HONORABLE WITH ACADEMIC DEGREES In the United States "The Honorable" is not used with scholastic degrees. It is an honor so high it trumps academic degrees. So NO to: The Honorable Shirley Ann Jackson, Ph.D. and YES to: The Honorable Shirley Ann Jackson
USE OF THE HONORABLE ON AN INVITATION On invitations the host/hostess does not identify himself/herself as "The Honorable" ... others address him/her as "The Honorable." So YES to: Shirley Ann Jackson, President of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute Or more likely: Dr. Shirley Ann Jackson, President of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute -- Robert Hickey
Use of "Dr. and Dr." by PhD Parents on an Invitation? My husband and I have PhD degrees and are often addressed as Dr. (name) in social and academic circles. We are parents of the bride-to-be and are confused about what titles we should use on the wedding invitation. Should we use Mr. and Mrs. or Dr. and Dr.? -- VM
Dear VM: On a wedding invitation use your social form of address ... so if you are known socially as "Dr. and Dr." ... then use "Dr. and Dr." When each person has a special honorific ... in this case "Dr." ... each gets their full name. If you both use the same last name and use Dr. socially the correct way would be
Dr. Anthony Montana and Dr. Mazie Montana request the honor of your presence
The "and' indicates you are married. Note: I have another Q&A on the topic of a couple ... both doctors. -- Robert Hickey Dear Mr. Hickey Thank you very much for your prompt response. It helps a lot. I can't understand why some wedding etiquette books advise against PhD's using the title of doctor. -- VM Dear VM: I edited the new edition of Crane's Blue Book of Stationery ... and it has what I suggest above. I think using "Dr." really depends on the source of the information: Sometimes medical doctors often don't think anyone else should use "Dr." One physician wrote to me (in care of this blog) saying that "PhDs want to be "Dr." except when the person next to them has a heart attack or when it comes time to write the check for malpractice insurance." But those in academia and scientific research have a different point of view! -- Robert Hickey
How to Word an Invitation from an Official Hostess & Her Husband? Our annual holiday party invitations have always read:
On behalf of the
Alabama Automobile Dealers Association Chairman of the Board and First Lady Avery and April McLean Cordially invite you and yours to attend the...
This year we have a married female Chairman of the Board and I’m struggling on how to word the invitation. Would the wording below be acceptable?
On behalf of the
Alabama Automobile Dealers Association Chairman of the Board Cindy Haygood and her husband Daniel, Cordially invite you and yours to attend the ...
This is a semi-formal event held at the Governor’s Mansion. -- Debbie at the Alabama Automobile Dealers Association
Dear Debbie, What you've been doing isn't strictly casual ... or strictly formal ... and it's sort of backed you in to a corner! There are no rules for casual and informal forms of address ... everyone does whatever they want to do. On my site I am just showing formal forms ... which can be done consistently ... hence their benefit. But that said ... how about:
On behalf of the Alabama Automobile Dealers Association Chairman of the Board Cindy Haygood and Mr. Daniel Haygood Cordially invite you to attend the ...
What do you think? -- Robert Hickey Mr. Hickey, That is much better – just needed a professional opinion! Thank you very much! -- Debbie |
How to Address an Attorney and Spouse? I have to write to and acknowledge several donors for an upcoming community event. How to I address the envelopes? 1st couple, he is an attorney, she is not 2nd couple both are attorneys -- PM, Meeting Coordinator
Dear PM, 1) Socially attorneys are Mr./Ms. (Name) ... the post nominal Esq. is not used socially. Unless you are writing to them on a matter of which he is the legal counsel (and since you are including his spouse it's unlikely that his participation is as an attorney) ... no Esq. Thus, socially an attorney and his wife are simply: Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Wilson or Mr. Thomas Nelson and Ms. Nancy Henderson
Another option, if you want to include her given name or you know she prefers Mrs. is: Mr. Thomas Nelson and Mrs. Nancy Henderson ... but I wouldn't do it unless you know she likes Mrs. since traditionally Mrs. Nancy Henderson is the form used by a divorced woman who want to continue using her former husband's family name.
2) Socially, if both are attorneys and use the same family name ... use the same forms noted above. -- Robert Hickey How to List a Couple's Name When He is a Jr. or Sr.? Can you please help me? When writing a couple's name would you write Charles Henry, Sr. and Daisy Ellis Rivers. Or would it be Charles Henry and Daisy Ellis Rivers, Sr. -- Betsy Mizner @ yahoo.com
I am preparing programs for my wedding. We are listing our grandparents who have passed. My grandfather was a junior. However, my grandmother, his wife, is also deceased. Where do we put the junior as to not confuse him with the other men with those names? Example: Jane and Thomas Smith, Jr. (?) or Thomas and Jane Smith, Jr. (?) -- Kristen Smith
Dear Ms. Mizner & Ms. Smith: When one combines names ... as in ... Jane and Thomas Smith or Charles Henry and Daisy Rivers ... these are casual, informal forms. The casual forms are sort of a free style ... there are no rules. But with casual forms, the names can't be done as elegantly and consistently as they can when using formal forms. That's what the formal forms were developed to do ... to be consistent and elegant. #1 The traditional form for a married couple is: Mrs. and Mrs. Thomas Smith Jr. Mrs. and Mrs. Charles Rivers, Sr. #2 But I am guessing you want to use all their given names ... her name and his. Thus the most formal way is to write each name fully and not combine them: Thomas Smith, Jr. and Jane Smith Charles Henry Rivers, Sr. and Daisy Ellis Rivers or, ladies first .... Jane Smith and Thomas Smith, Jr. Daisy Ellis Rivers and Charles Henry Rivers, Sr. The majority of etiquette book suggest the former form, but I don't actually think that's the only correct option. You should choose. In such a listing, the and between their names indicates they are married/are a couple because individuals who are not married/are a couple are listed separately / not listed together. -- Robert Hickey
|
|
How to Address a Two Doctors? I attended a dinner given in the home of a plastic surgeon (him) and a dentist (her). Both are doctors with their own practice. When I was introduced it was first names. How do I address the envelope of the thank you note? -- Cecilia Bonnington
Dear Ms. Bonnington: I cover how to address two doctors in my book: Chapter Nine - Joint Forms of Address. When couples have the same rank ... which they do in this case since the are both Dr. ... on the mailing envelope they would be listed in the order established in the order in Mr. & Mrs. Dr. Adam Wilson and Dr. Cynthia Wilson (Address) or if they use different last names Dr. Adam Wilson and Dr. Cynthia Smithson (Address) Then on the salutation, since you are on a first-name basis address them as: Dear Adam and Cynthia, What I've outlined above is the most formal, so it's never incorrect. Note that I'm intentionally avoiding -- and suggest you do too -- any form that combines their names and "Dr" like Drs. Adam and Cynthia Wilson. -- Robert Hickey
How to Address a Couple If She is Dr. & He is Mr. And They Use Different Last Names? My brother (Erwin Wright) and sister-in-law (Monica Vintner) write their names as Wright and Vintner on the return address. She has kept her maiden name, has a PhD, and teaches at a univeristy. What is the correct way to address them on invitations (formal and informal), as well as holiday or anniversary cards? -- M. Torres
Dear M. Torres: By standard precedence, she is first since she is a "Dr." Partners with special honorifics (doctorates, military ranks, etc.) are most formally listed first in joint forms of address: Dr. Monica Vintner and Mr. Erwin Wright 3333 Smith Court Henderson, OH 44444 That's the formal way. But -- if you are addressing informal correspondence ... Hummm. Since they list themselves "Wright and Vintner" on their return address -- they have established that to be their casual preference. For casual correspondence I'd follow their lead and address their envelopes as: Wright and Vintner 3333 Smith Court Henderson, OH 44444 And inside write "Dear Monica and Erwin" -- Robert Hickey
How to Address a Couple If She is a Dr. and He is About to be a Dr. But isn't a Dr. Yet? I am a calligrapher who is writing wedding invitation envelopes for a couple who has a form-of-address question: A married couple who both use the husband’s surname is being invited. The woman is a recent medical school graduate. The man will be graduating from medical school within a few weeks after the date of the wedding. How should the couple be addressed on the envelopes of the invitation? -- KNR Dear KNR: 1) Officially one only has any degree when one has the diploma in hand. 2) People with "Dr." have higher precedence than people who are "Mr./Ms." -- unless the "Mr./Ms." is actually the intended guest and the "Dr." is being included only as a courtesy to the "Mr./Ms." In that case the higher precedence is granted to the intended guest. But for this I will assume they are being invited equally ... so ... she is higher. So most formally it would be: Dr. Cynthia Wilson and Mr. Thomas Wilson (Address) Inside envelope use: Dr. and Mr. Wilson If this sort of thing comes up often, I cover this in my book. In Chapter 9: Joint Forms of Address, on page 141 I show the variations of 'Doctors' in couples ... for both those using the same surname and different surnames. -- Robert Hickey
|
How to Address a Couple on an Invitation: A Judge and an Army Officer -- Both Retired? I am addressing envelopes for invitations to the retirement of a municipal employee. One couple being invited is our former municipal court judge (she is retired) and her husband who is a brigadier general (Army), also retired. Your book says that once honorable, always an honorable. Is a judgeship considered a “rank”? Who has the higher rank in this situation? ~ Virginia @ Public Works
Dear T. Suzuki: Joint forms can be complicated! I cover all this in my book in the chapter on Joint Forms of Address. Yes, being "the Honorable" is indeed a personal rank which stays with the person. On the envelope it would be The Honorable Nancy Doe and Brigadier General William Doe As a retired judge she is still the honorable. USA (United States Army) and Retired are not used on social correspondence. Elected officials and judges of federal, state, and municipals courts are higher than an appointed armed service officer ... Unless he is the one you are actually inviting and she is just his "guest" ... your invitee is listed first ... their guest is listed after them. On the inside envelope list them as you would address them in conversation: Judge Doe and General Doe -- Robert Hickey
How to Address a Military Officer & Dentist? How do I address an envelope to a United States Navy Captain and a Dentist who are married? Captain Joshua & Dr. Brooke Jones? -- D. Bainbridge
Dear Mr. D. Bainbridge: Most formally people with titles and ranks get their names as a unit ... not combined with another person's name. Since he is in uniform ... military uniformed personnel have precedence over civilians ... so the USN Captain is listed first. So the form would be: Captain Joshua Jones and Dr. Brooke Jones (Address) -- Robert Hickey
How to Address a Military Officer and a Medical Doctor? What is the correct form for a joint salutation when the wife is a medical doctor and the husband is a Colonel (not sure of the branch)? They share the same last name. Is there a hierarchy to which is listed first? Same question for the address on the envelope: Should the male go first or does a Dr. trump a Colonel regardless of the gender? -- Jeanie Farrell in Arkansas
Dear Ms. Farrell: 1) One doesn’t specify the branch of service on a social letter ... so you are off the hook! When writing an official letter to a Colonel at his office ... you would include USA or USAF after his name ... and you would need to find out the branch. 2) In this combination the Colonel goes first: he has an official rank. The doctor has an academic degree, but not an official rank. 3) Wives of officials are usually written as "Mrs. (surname)", but since she’s a “Dr.”, it would be acceptable to use her first and last name as I suggest below. On the envelope write this line for line (does not have to be indented however): Colonel John Wilson and Dr. Mary Wilson (Address) In the salutation write: Dear Colonel Wilson and Dr. Wilson, -- Robert Hickey Robert, I have a follow-up question. I have been under the assumption that if a couple shares the same last name it is not necessary to repeat it in the joint salutation or the joint mail name. Is it wrong in your opinion to say? On the envelope: Colonel John and Dr. Mary Wilson In the salutation: Dear Colonel and Dr. Wilson Thank you so much, -- Jeanie Farrell in Arkansas
Jeanie, I always suggest the most formal way ... figuring formal is never wrong ... and being casual might be. And the most formal way to write any name is do so completely, all on a line by itself. Colonel John Wilson and Dr. Mary Wilson (Address) When the couple uses the same last name and the wife uses Mrs. -- you see the following used on a holiday cards but not on anything very formal: Colonel and Mrs. John Wilson (Address) Most formally it's: Colonel John Wilson and Mrs. Wilson (Address) When it's the woman who is the official it becomes: Colonel Mary Wilson and Mr. John Wilson (Address) Men using the same last name get their full names, wives don't. That's the tradition! A salutation is based on what one calls the other in conversation. Most formally in a salutation use: Dear Colonel Wilson and Dr. Wilson, Less formally in a salutation use: Dear Colonel and Dr. Wilson, I'd use on of the formal salutations until I was ready to use simply Dear John and Mary, -- Robert
How to Address a Military Officer & Medical Doctor ... But They Use Different Last Names?
I need to address an envelope for a husband and wife who use different last names. The woman is a M.D. medical doctor and her husband is a captain in the military. -- Pat Dear Pat,
1. Standard protocol is that a person with a rank will have higher precedence than a person without a rank. So the captain's name is first. (See also #4 below.) 2. If this social correspondence then his branch of service ... USA or USN ... is not included. Official would include situations when you are writing to him as a Captain ... and it was regarding his service in the the Armed Forces 3. If this is social correspondence then she is "Dr." before ... not "MD" after Captain William Henderson and Dr. Mary Smith (address) 4. If she is the invited guest and he is being invited as a courtesy ... as her escort ... then the precedence reverses. The guest is granted higher precedence and the guest's name is first. Dr. Mary Smith and Captain William Henderson (address) FYI, your question is answered in my book in my chapter on joint forms of address. -- Robert Hickey |
|
| How to Address Married Military Officers with Different Ranks?
My brother and my sister-in-law are USAF. My sister-in-law holds a higher rank (Lt Col) than my brother (Major). When addressing an envelope does the higher rank come first, or does the male get first billing as done in "Mr. and Mrs."? -- Mary Vogelsang
Dear Ms. Vogelsang,
I cover how to decide who is listed first in my book. Higher rank always is listed first in joint address when the letter is to them equally or to the higher person. So the order of the names should be: Lieutenant Colonel Linda Smith and Major William Smith -- Robert Hickey How to Address a Military Officer and His/Her Spouse? Dear Mr. Hickey: I’m wondering about couples… if you are addressing a wedding invitation to Joe Schmo and his wife and he’s a 2nd Lieutenant in the USMC, how should the invitation read? --- Marilyn Huddleston
Dear Ms. Huddleston: I cover this in Chapter 9: Joint Forms of Address. The envelope for their invitation should read: Second Lieutenant Joseph Schmo and Mrs. Schmo (street) (state and ZIP code) 1) On a social invitation USMC is not included. On an official letter to the Second Lieutenant you would include it. 2) Most formally you don't break up a rank + name "Second Lieutenant and Mrs. Joseph Schmo" is frowned on in the armed services. You do see it on envelopes addressed by civilians, but it not the best form. 3) An official person ... in the case the Marine in uniform ... gets his or her name on a line by itself ... so the and Mrs. Schmo is on the next line. -- Robert Hickey
How to Address a Retired Military Officer & Spouse? Dear Mr. Hickey: Where in your book do you cover how I address should an envelope to a retired Lt. Col. in the Air Force and his wife? --- Living near the Base
Dear Living near the Base: Use the forms I show under Joint Forms of Address, Members of the Armed Services on page 147. Formal forms for an OFFICIAL envelope would be: Lieutenant Colonel Robert W. Thompson, USAF, Retired and Mrs. Thompson Address NOTE ON THE ABOVE FORM: Including a spouse using the "official" form is odd: if you are including a spouse the correspondence is by definition social -- and post-nominals are not used on social correspondence (See note #4 below.) But maybe this would be used for an official USAF event when he's being invited as a retired officer, to attend in uniform and to participate in some official capacity, and she is specifically included? Anyway, if your event is social where the officer is being invited as a person and not as an official ... keep reading. Formal forms for a SOCIAL envelope would be: Lieutenant Colonel Robert W. Thompson and Mrs. Thompson Address Or using the Service-Specific Abbreviation (see notes #1, 2 & 3 below): Lt Col Robert W. Thompson and Mrs. Thompson Address 1) Spelling out the rank is always the most formal: In the armed services, they do use the service-specific abbreviations. 2) Lt Col -- capitalized, spaced as shown, and without periods -- is the USAF-specific form of the abbreviation for a Lieutenant Colonel. The Army and Marine Corps have their own service-specific abbreviations. 3) Abbreviations with the periods -- Lt. Col. -- are the form you will see in "social etiquette books." They don't use them in the armed services (note #2), but there is nothing wrong with them. 4) "Branch of Service" and 'Retired" are not used on social correspondence. 5) The most formal way to write an official person's name is to not break up the rank and the name ... hence his name is on one line and Mrs. Thompson is on the next line -- not mixed up his rank and his name. And Finally ... Less Formally: All that said, a holiday card may be addressed using an informal form of address which combines the names such as: Lt. Col. and Mrs. Robert W. Thompson Address This last one is not what I'd suggest, but it will get your letter delivered. -- Robert Hickey
How to Address a Two Pastors? What is the proper way to address a letter to my pastor and his wife is also a pastor? Thank you in advance. -- Susan Wise
Dear Ms. Wise: I cover how to address two pastors in Chapter Nine: Joint Forms of Address. You didn't mention if they both use the same last name ... so I will assume the do. And I will also assume you address each as Pastor (surname) in conversation rather than Dr., Father, or something else. That said ... on the envelope ... address it to "your pastor" first ... and put the name of "his spouse" on the second line: The Reverend Clinton Jones and The Reverend Susan Jones (address) On the salutation to both use: Dear Pastors Jones, -- Robert Hickey
How to Address a Female Pastor & Her Husband? How do I address a sympathy card to our female pastor and her husband on the death of her husband’s son from a previous marriage? -- nskcomstock
Dear nskcomstock, Most formally on an envelope your Pastor is listed first since she is The Reverend (Full Name) and he is a Mr. (Full Name). People with courtesy titles rank higher than people without them. And because she has a title ... she gets her whole name as a unit ... not mixed in with her spouse's name. So avoid anything resembling The Reverend Allyson and Mr. Wilson Smith... which is really bad. And assuming they use the same last name ... the most formal would be: The Reverend Allyson Smith and Mr. Wilson Smith In the salutation you could use the form you think she prefers in conversation .... Dear Pastor and Mr. Smith, Dear Dr. and Mr. Smith, Or if you are on a first name basis use: Dear Allyson and Wilson, -- Robert Hickey
How to Address a Pastor and Her Military Husband? My question has to do with addressing envelopes. Our Pastor, Alyson Smith, of the Presbyterian Denomination, is married to a retired Lieutenant Commander, USN, Richard. He is to be awarded his PhD soon. Regardless of the degree, I have not been able to find out how one is to address an invitation, card, or letter to the two of them, together. --- Bobbi Sue Minton
Dear Ms. Minton: I have an entire chapter on joint forms of address in my book for just this type of situation. I am guessing you are addressing him socially, so ... socially his name is written: Lieutenant Commander Richard Smith As a member of the clergy, her name is written: The Reverend Alyson Smith
RANK WITH A POST-NOMINAL ABBREVIATION Regarding his PhD. In the US academic post nominals are never used with a rank. So he can be Lieutenant Commander Richard Smith (or Commander Smith in conversation) or Richard Smith, PhD (or Dr. Smith in conversation if he wants to be address as "Dr.") but never Lieutenant Commander Richard Smith PhD.
USE OF DOCTOR Usually holders of PhD's don't use Dr. (name) unless they work in academia or research. E.g., the holder of a doctorate in French who teaches would use Dr. (name) .... The holder of a PhD in finance who works at a bank wouldn't. But ultimately it's his option how he is addressed. WHOSE NAME IS FIRST? An active duty or retired military person has higher precedence than a civilian so is listed first. So in most circumstances the joint form would be: Lieutenant Commander Richard Smith and The Reverend Alyson Smith BUT if she is the invited guest ... and he is invited as her escort, then as the guest her name would appear first: The Reverend Alyson Smith and Lieutenant Commander Richard Smith I have spelled out "Lieutenant Commander" every time above, to avoid the whole issue of how to abbreviate his rank. I cover that in my book on pages 94-98 (service-specific abbreviations) if you need that information. -- Robert Hickey
How To Address a Pastor and His 'Professor' Wife? I refer to your book often. How do I address a thank-you note to a pastor and his wife when both hold doctorates and she is a college professor? -- Lucy Hendershott, Great Falls, Virginia
Dear Ms. Hendershott: If it's a thank-you note .. it's social correspondence (as opposed to official correspondence to one or the other's office) so it's easier .... because you don't use their post-nominal initials on social correspondence. Put each name a line of its own ... so each gets their full name just right The Reverend Dennis Winslow and Dr. Marilyn Winslow His name would be first .... as a member of the clergy. Clergy has higher precedence than a private citizen. Even as a professor with a doctorate ... she's a still private citizen. You definitely want to avoid forms such as The Reverend and Dr. Winslow or The Reverend Dennis and Dr. Marilyn Winslow -- Robert Hickey
|
How To Address Married Military Officers of Equal Rank? How do you address married couples in the military with the same rank. Is it? Captains John and Mary Smith or is it? Captain John Smith and Captain Mary Smith Also what if they are married but have different last names? -- Candy J.
Dear PSC: I cover how to address two officers in the military in Chapter Nine: Joint Forms of Address. l am guessing this is a social form ... such as an invitation? And that both are captains in the same service? O.K.? if so ... Outside envelope: When someone has a special title/rank .. most formally you write out their full name and you don't mix it with the other name: So both get their rank + full name. But ... whose name goes first? His name? Her name? There is a protocol for this decision, and it's neither alphabetical nor ladies first. Military officers of the same rank are always ordered by seniority. One member of the couple has an earlier date of rank ... which gives that person higher precedence / greater seniority. I can guarantee you they have discussed this and the couple knows which of them has higher precedence/seniority by date of rank! So you need to contact them if you are determined to do it correctly. Since each is getting listed fully ... it does not matter if they have different last names
Captain John Smith and Captain Mary Smith (if he has seniority) Address
Captain Mary Smith and Captain John Smith (if she has seniority) Address
Inside envelope: Captains Smith (same last name, most formally) Captain Smith and Captain Wilson (different last names, more senior person listed first) Mary and William (less formally if they are very close friends or family) -- Robert Hickey
How To Address Married Officers: Equal Ranks, One Active, the Other Retired? What is the proper way to address two married members of the military when one is active duty and one is retired and they are the same rank on official correspondence? I couldn' find the answer on your site. -- Tish
Dear Tish: The rule of precedence is that personnel are grouped by rank ... and active is before retired. The way it's phrased on the precedence list I include in my book (page 127) is for, say O-8's: VIP CODE 5 43. Two-star military: Major general, rear admirals, by seniority. Retired officers by rank by after active duty officers I don't try and answer everything on the site .... I have a chapter in my book on precedence and joint forms of address if this sort of thing comes up often. -- Robert Hickey
|
|
|
| Whose Name is First? His? or Hers? In an salutation for a married couple using just first names .... whose name is first? His? Or hers? Dear Anne and Steve or Dear Steve and Anne? -- Anne Robinson On a wedding program should I list my parents as: 1) Michael and Linda Swaggerty OR 2) Linda and Michael Swaggerty We didn’t use Mr. and Mrs. for this, as we prefer all the guests know the parent's first names. -- Linda Swaggerty On shared stationery – how should we list our names? His name first? My name first? We will be married soon and I have chosen to retain my maiden name. My fiancé honestly doesn't care whose name is first. I think it seems like I am secondary to him if his name comes first on everything (which I agree is rather ridiculous but I cannot seem to get past the feeling). What is the "proper" way to do it? -- Laura T Dear Anne, Linda, and Laura: In my book I include the following: When writing two names (typically when addressing invitations, but the rules work for other situations, too), there are two ways. 1) Social etiquette says, when the guests are a couple with different surnames, women are listed first, men are listed second: Ms. Laura Thompson and Mr. Henry Smith Laura Thompson and Henry Smith Laura and Henry It is this way in "social etiquette" because gender is a consideration in traditional social forms of address. 2) This contrasts with business and official etiquette (and the rules of protocol), in which gender is not a consideration. In the business and official arenas, if both halves of the couple are of equal precedence, they always are listed alphabetically by surname: Mr. Henry Smith and Ms. Laura Thompson Henry Smith and Laura Thompson Henry and Laura This rule is the one you follow for same sex couples: Mr. Frank Baker and Mr. Thomas Wilson Frank Baker and Thomas Wilson Frank and Thomas Ms. Amy Clifton and Ms. Maria Yeonas Amy Clifton and Maria Yeonas Amy and Maria -- Robert Hickey Whose Name Is First If One of Them Is a Date? Whose name is first if I am inviting to a business event a couple, who use different surnames? She is the one we are really inviting, he's being invited as a courtesy to her. Alphabetically he is first, but it seems funny to list him first since he is coming as the date? -- Mary Harrison
Dear Ms. Harrison: 1) If a person is the guest to an official event (e.g., the woman is the reason the invitation is being extended) and her spouse is attending as her guest ... her name goes first: Ms. Mary Harrison and Mr. Albert Baker His name would be listed first if he is the intended guest. 2) When they are both invited, so neither is the 'invited guest' then the person with higher precedence is listed first regardless of gender. E.g., if the woman holds a higher office, higher rank, or has a special honorific -- she outranks her husband who has a lower office, lower rank or has no special honorific -- a protocol officer sending out official invitations would always list the woman first in a married couple. E.g.: The Honorable Mary Harrison and Mr. Albert Baker The Reverend Mary Harrison and Mr. Albert Baker Her Excellency Mary Harrison and Mr. Albert Baker General Mary Harrison and Major Albert Baker Major Mary Harrison and Mr. Albert Baker Dr. Mary Harrison and Mr. Albert Baker I cover all this and more in the chapters in my book on Joint Forms of Address and Precedence. -- Robert Hickey
|
How to Address a Two Honorables? I need to send a letter to two people (husband and wife) who are married and both need to be addressed as The Honorable in an address. How do I address them?! Thanks. -- Rick Eckis on Capital Hill
Dear Mr. Eckis: I include how to address two elected officials in Chapter Nine: Joint Forms of Address. (1) First determine which person has higher precedence so you can know whose name is listed first. (2) Then list each person's name on a line by itself. Anyone's who is The Honorable gets his or her name written in full on a line by itself. Gender is not a consideration. So if you determine he has higher precedence, his name is on the first line and hers in on the second. If she has higher precedence she is listed first. The Honorable (full name) and the Honorable (full name) Address -- Robert Hickey
How To Address Two Ambassadors in a Salutation? Please tell me what the joint salutation would be for married U.S. ambassadors with different last names. Am I correct in that the mail names would be ... The Honorable Jack G. Small and The Honorable Ann K. Jones -- Debbie
Dear Debbie: Yes ... that is perfect. Each gets their full name spelled out on their own line. Next question is whose name is listed first? You listed Jack Small. Officially the one who became an ambassador earlier has higher precedence ... and would be listed first ... unless you are writing to one of them at their post ... and an ambassador at his or her post has the higher precedence. -- Robert Hickey
How to Address an Ambassador and Her Husband? What is the proper form of address for an American ambassador-at-large, who is a woman, and her husband? Is it: The Honorable Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe or The Honorable Jane Doe and Mr. Doe? Also, how about the salutation? Is it: Dear Ms. Doe and Mr. Doe or Dear Ms. and Mr. Doe? Is that covered in your book? Thanks! -- AC in NYC
Dear GB: Yes, I have a chapter on joint forms of address. This combination is covered on page 145. The correct address would be: The Honorable Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe ... because men get their full names when their wives name is listed first due to her higher precedence. For a formal salutation use: Dear Madame Ambassador and Mr. Doe: Although using "ambassador" as the honorific would also be O.K.: Dear Ambassador Doe and Mr. Doe: -- Robert Hickey
|
|
| How Do I Address Two Individuals, Not a Couple? How do you address a business letter to two people at the same company when they have different titles? The people are David McGraw, Supply Manager, and Wayne Kammerer, Maintenance Manager. - Linda Whedbee I am acknowledging a donation from a mother and her adult daughter. How do I address them, and what salutation would I use? - Harold Towle Dear Ms. Whedbee and Mr. Towle: Most often adults receive individual communications. In business the letter is directed to one and the other is copied on the correspondence. Socially only young children are included on their parents invitations. But ... if you want to write one letter, list them individually, with the name of the person with the higher precedence first. That would be the senior person first in business or if you are not aware of any hierarchical order, list their names in alphabetical order. For the family members list the mother first following the social convention of deferring to age. The word "and" appears between names in a couple .... so there's no 'and' between them on these envelopes. On an envelope or address block on a letter: Mr./Mrs./Ms./etc. (Full Name) Mr./Mrs./Ms./etc. (Full Name) (Address) As the salutation: Dear Mr./Mrs./Ms./etc. (Surname) and Mr./Mrs./Ms./etc. (Surname): -- Robert Hickey
How to Address a Dean and His Wife? Hi Robert, I'm writing a thank-you letter to a dean and his wife. He has a doctorate but I am not sure how to address the envelope and start the note. What is the proper way to do this? -- Susan @ Athens Interiors, Athens, Georgia
Dear Susan, I am guessing this is an 'academic dean" rather than an "Episcopal dean” Right? The issues I think you are asking are; * Should he be addressed as “Dr.” or as “Dean”? * How do you include his wife's name? Official letters to a Dean sent to his office are addressed to Stephen Smith, PhD. Social letters to his home are addressed to Dr. Stephen Smith. I see on your note that you are an interior designer. If you are writing to him about design work at his home, I’d use Dr. Stephen Smith since that would be personal rather than professional issue to him. Most formally Dean is used as an honorific in conversation when one is acting as a Dean: “Dean Smith, will you be chairing the faculty meeting?” And other people will refer to him (when he is acting as Dean) as "The Dean will be here in 15 minutes." "Dean Smith will see you now." But back to your letter: On the envelope if they use the same last name: Most formally a social letter: Dr. Stephen L. Smith and Mrs. Smith Address Or less formally: Dr. and Mrs. Stephen Smith Address Salutation: Most formally: Dear Dr. Smith and Mrs. Smith, Or less formally: Dear Dr. and Mrs. Smith, Most formally a social letter if they use different last names Envelope: Dr. Stephen L. Smith and Ms. Mary Johnson Address Salutation: Dear Dr. Smith and Ms. Johnson -- Robert Hickey
How to I Autograph a Book to The President and First Lady? Dear Mr. Hickey How should I write the names of President Obama and the First Lady in a copy of my book I will autograph and present to them? -- Alice Rippon
Dear Ms.Rippon Write their names as follows To The President and Mrs. Obama Then add whatever you like... something like: With Admiration, Alice Rippon (Month), (Year) -- Robert Hickey
How to Address a Thank-you Note to a Former President of the United States and a Former First Lady? I was invited to dinner by President George H. W. Bush Sr. and Mrs. Bush last week at the Bush Library and Museum and the Presidential Center. There wasn't a written invitation - it was a verbal invitation - so I don't have something that says "The President and Mrs. Bush invites you", or "The President invites you" -- so I can be certain exactly who was the host and/or hostess of the event. Should a thank you card be written to “The President” only? Or should it be addressed to "The President and Mrs. Bush"? Should my note be hand written? My thought is that the card should be written to the President only, but I'm not sure what is correct. -- DH and SB in Aerospace.
Dear DH and SB: You refer to your host as The President which is not correct for a former President. This event was hosted by “Bush-41” -- a former President is traditionally addressed as Mr. (Surname), in this case Mr. Bush. Holders of office of which there is only one at a time do not continue to use the "title" after leaving the office (see page 85). They revert to either “The Honorable (full name)” -OR- “Mr./Ms. (surname)” and are identified as "the former …”. When Thomas Jefferson left the White House he returned to being Mr. Jefferson. When Dwight Eisenhower returned to Gettysburg he returned to being General Eisenhower. If you addressed “Bush-41” as President Bush he would probably not correct you. At the Bush-43 White House they did write the place card for the former Presidents as "President (surname)" as a courtesy, with the reasoning that they are returning to their former home. It remains to be seen it the current administration continues this new style. Regarding the thank you note, even though there was no written invitation, it's always correct to thank your host/hostess with a prompt note. Socially when the hosts are a Mr. & Mrs., the note is addressed to the hostess. Mail your hand-written note within 24 hours. Address the envelope to “Mrs. George H.W. Bush.” Use the salutation “Dear Mrs. Bush,.” If you want to mention your appreciation to the former president, you could include something like “… and please extend my thanks to Mr. Bush” in the text. -- Robert Hickey
How to Address The President and First Lady? Dear Mr. Hickey: I am looking in your book and I find a salutation for The President, and a salutation for The First Lady, but I can’t find a form for the correct salutation to use when writing President Obama and Mrs. Obama (in the same letter), If you tell me, I would be most appreciative! --- Desiree Whitley
Dear Ms. Whitley: You don't see a form for that because an official letter would not be jointly addressed to The President and The First Lady. Each has their own office ... his in the West Wing ... and hers in the East Wing ... both at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. So separate letters would be sent to each. But that said ... if you are set on writing them as a couple write it line-for-line like this: The President and Mrs. Obama The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W. Washington, DC 20500 Open the letter with the salutation: Dear Mr. President and Mrs. Obama: Close the letter with: Most Respectfully, Desiree Whitley -- Robert Hickey
How to Address the Vice President and Spouse? Dear Mr. Hickey: I am sending a formal invitation to several government officials. How would I address an envelope to Joe Biden and his wife -- Melanie Schaeffer, Moline, Illinois
Dear Ms. Schaeffer: The Vice President and his wife would be: The Vice President and Dr. Biden (Address) The formula a Vice President whose wife used “Mrs.” would be: The Vice President and Mrs. (surname) (Address) -- Robert Hickey
How to Address a Former US Senator and His Wife? Dear Mr. Hickey: How do I address a wedding invitation to a former US Senator and his wife? -- Marcia Buchanan
Dear Ms. Buchanan: I cover how to address every level of elected officials (federal, state, and municipal) in Chapter Nine: Joint Forms of Address. On the invitation's envelope write their names like this -- line for line: The Honorable William T. Buchanan and Mrs. Buchanan (Address) Most formally write the official's name on a line by itself. And ... most formally if his wife uses the same last name she does not get her first name. But, if his wife uses a different last name write it like this -- line for line. The Honorable William T. Buchanan and Ms. Marcia Smith (Address) Most formally if she uses a different last name she does get her first name. You didn't ask it, but if you are using an inside envelope write, most formally ..... Senator Buchanan and Mrs. Buchanan What most people want to write is Senator and Mrs. Buchanan like Mr. and Mrs. Buchanan .... but a Mr. is not a Senator and with officials it is best to use their whole name all together ... not broken up. -- Robert Hickey
How to Address a US Representative and His Wife? Dear Robert, My first cousin Dana is married to a U.S. Congressman (Joe Baxter) from South Carolina. I want to send them a thank-you note. I'm considering the following as the first line on my envelope: The Honorable Joe and Dana Baxter Do you agree? Thanks, -- Jeff Williams, Mayor Pro Tem, Laurel, Texas
Dear Jeff, You should be looking in my book if you are going to be writing to officials on a regular basis. The most formal way is to NOT break up the official person's name and to give it a line by itself ... so ... most formally on the outside envelope it would be: The Honorable Joe Baxter and Mrs. Baxter (Address) OR a little bit less formally... The Honorable Joe Baxter and Mrs. Baxter (Address) That's the way the White House would send out the envelope. Being a US Representative is after all … a big deal. He's entitled to his whole name, all together. Women who use the same last name as their husbands don't get their first name in a joint form of address: If she used a different last name she's be "and Ms. Dana Williams" And I'd would not suggest you use "Mrs. Dana Baxter" since most traditionally that would a form used in joint address to indicate they were divorced. Then on the inside ... where it's personal ... you would use her given name. Dear Joe and Dana, -- Robert
How To Write My Name as The Mayor with My Doctor Husband? My husband is a doctor and I am the mayor of our town. How should we be signing registries, cards, etc. as a couple? I am signing as Dr. and Mrs. Carl Wilson. Is that correct? Can my mayor title go anywhere in there? How should I be signing our Christmas Cards? --- Cate Wilson in Florida, again
Dear Mayor Wilson: If you are signing an official card, register, or guest book as the Mayor --- use the following: Cate Wilson, Mayor of (town) and Dr. Carl Wilson I am suggesting you put your self first: as an elected official you have higher precedence that your husband. And I am suggesting you don't call yourself Mayor Cate Wilson, since one doesn't give oneself an honorific (I don't introduce myself saying "Hi I am Mr. Robert Hickey.") And one doesn't identify oneself as The Honorable (full name). Inside personal holiday cards -- not sent as the Mayor but by you and your husband -- you could use the same as you use officially if you want to Cate Wilson, Mayor of (town) and Dr. Carl Wilson ... or you could use your social name ... Dr. and Mrs. Carl Wilson. Either way, if you are sending it to close friends and family -- draw a line through the printed names and and write by hand your first names ... "Cate and Carl" -- Robert Hickey
How to List a Mayor and a Physician? How do you recognize (on our event signage) this husband and wife when the wife is an MD and her husband is our new Mayor? Before he was Mayor, we always listed them as: Jane Smith Doe, M.D. and John A. Doe I was hoping she would tell me how she would like to be listed but she suggested I check an etiquette book! -- EG in Atlanta
Dear EG: I have a chapter in my book just joint forms of address, because they are complicated! Elected officials are higher in precedence than those holding academic degrees. Depending if you want to list her with the official or social form of her name, the options are: The Honorable John A. Doe and Jane Smith Doe, M.D. The Honorable John A. Doe and Dr. Jane Smith Doe Unless it's her event and he's listed just as her spouse: then the name order would be the other way around. -- Robert Hickey
How to Address an Envelope to a Mayor and His Wife? How does one address the envelope of an invitation to the mayor of a city and his wife? -- Susan Hensley
Dear Ms. Hensley: I cover how to all sorts of elected officials and their spouses in Chapter Nine: Joint Forms of Address. You didn't tell me the names ... so depending those ... there are several options. If she uses "Mrs." and uses the same last name ... then traditionally her first name does not appear: The Honorable William Stanton and Mrs. Stanton (Address) This is the form the White House would use for a married couple using the same last name. The rule is not to break up "The Honorable" from "(name)" What you want to avoid is: The Honorable and Mrs. William Stanton (Address) If she uses a different last name, then her first name does appear, e.g.: The Honorable Alan Greenspan and Ms. Andrea Mitchell (Address) If she has her own rank, courtesy title, or some special honorific, then her first name does appear: The Honorable William Stanton and Lieutenant Linda Stanton (Address) The Honorable William Stanton and Dr. Linda Stanton (Address) The Honorable William Stanton and the Reverend Linda Stanton (Address) Probably more answer than you wanted ... but I hope that is useful. -- Robert Hickey
How to Write a Couple's Name On a Donor List When the Husband is a City Councilman? I am President of our Friends of the Library and are engraving some bricks for a new sidewalk path being installed. We are including our Council Members and their wives, but are unsure the proper way of titling them. We are given 3 rows of 16 characters or spaces each. Would you please provide us some guidance? Would we list them as: Council Member Drexel and Kate Douglas Council Member Drexel & Kate Douglas Council Member Pam and Adam Steel Council Member Pam & Adam Steel Or some other variation? We are trying to make this a surprise so have not approached any of them or City Hall. -- Jack Scott
Dear Mr. Scott, Hummmm. The options you suggest are awkward because you are combining official and social forms of address ... including an official's elected office ... with .... the couple's names in an social way. Members of city councils are typically addressed on an envelope or in the letter by whatever honorific they are entitled to (Mr./Ms./Dr./etc.), and identified as a member of a council: Mr. Drexel Douglas, Member, Hudson County Council You would never see Senator Evan and Susan Bayh in Washington. Formally when someone holds an office they get their name as a unit ... so .... Senator Evan Bayh and Mrs. Bayh ... is correct ... and is how an invitation would be better addressed to them. If you are limited for space and must include spouses, include the names and leave off the Council Member. Bricks are permanent, membership on the city council is fleeting. -- Robert Hickey |
How To Address an Invitation to Hillary & Bill Clinton? How do you address an invitation to Hillary Clinton and her husband, now that she is no longer Secretary of State? -- Phyllis Brown
Dear Ms. Brown: Truth is you probably wouldn't send an joint invitation unless you are a very close personal friend: it's not like just anyone could say "Hillary, come to dinner and bring Bill." They each have an office (and scheduler) you'd have to contact. But that said -- Bill Clinton has higher precedence as a former president, so his name would be first. As a former president of the United States he is most formally The Honorable William Jefferson Clinton ... and a former Secretary of State (and a former United States Senator) she is The Honorable Hillary Rodham Clinton. If you were to list their names on an envelope it would be: The Honorable William Jefferson Clinton and The Honorable Hillary Rodham Clinton The inside envelope would be: Mr. Clinton and Senator Clinton: Many people ask when they see this: not President and Secretary Clinton? Well, the answer is no and here is why: After leaving the office Presidents and Secretaries formally go back to the highest honorific to which he or she was entitled before assuming office. That doesn't mean you don't hear it in the media, but it's not correct as a form of address. For Bill, it's Mr.. Neither governors nor presidents continue to be formally addressed in the style of their former office. For Hillary it is Senator. Former senators are addressed as Senator (Name). A former President, Governor, nor Secretary of State continues to be addressed as The Honorable, but other than that, those offices are roles that do not come with a personal rank that continues. -- Robert Hickey
|
|
|
Not Finding Your Question Answered? Below are other topics covered in my blog and at right is a list of officials, Between the two I probably have what you are looking for. After hunting around a bit, if you don't see your question answered send me an e-mail. I am pretty fast at sending a reply: usually the next day (unless I am traveling.) If I think your question is of interest to others, I will post the question & answer – with your name and any personal specifics changed. -- Robert Hickey USE OF NAMES & HONORIFICS Mr., Miss, Jr., III, & Names Married Women Deceased Persons People with Two Titles Post-Nominal Abbreviations and Initials Couples: Joint Forms of Address (How to address a couple?)
USE OF SPECIFIC OFFICIAL TITLES Former Officials Professionals and Academics
United States Federal Officials, Currently In Office United States State Officials, Currently In Office United States Municipal Officials, Currently In Office All About The Honorable with U.S. Officials Former United States Officials of all types United States Armed Services, Active Duty Addressing Retired Personnel Use of Rank by Retired Personnel Use of Rank by Veterans
Tribal Officials Clergy and Religious Officials Canadian Officials Australian Officials British Officials, Royalty, and Nobility Diplomats and International Representatives Foreign National Officials and Nobility SPECIFIC SITUATIONS Business Cards Couples Etiquette Flags and Anthem Protocol Introductions Invitations: Writing & Addressing Invitations: Just Armed Service Personnel Name Tags Names on Programs, Signs, & Lists Naming a Building or Road Place Cards Plaques, Awards, Diplomas, Certificates Precedence: Ordering Officials Thank You Notes
Site updated by Robert Hickey on May 25, 2013
|
| |
Back to Main Page of the Robert Hickey's BLOG Robert Hickey is the author of Honor & Respect: The Official Guide to Names, Titles, and Forms of Address Published by The Protocol School of Washington® Foreword by Pamela Eyring
Copyright © 2013 Robert Hickey. All Rights Reserved. Book Photo: Marc Goodman.
|
|
|