Clippings

Clippings FYI
Random Clippings on Topics Related to Protocol and Etiquette
Double-click on the name for a down-loadable PDF of the story

"The United Nations Flag Code and Regulations " –– A PDF of a booklet in the public domain of the original 1947 flag code of the U.N., and the 1967 update that further define how the flag and the image of the flag may be used correctly.

Is Civility on the Decline in America?
Here is a link to an interesting publication entitled "Civility In America: A Nationwide Survey" by Weber Shandwick, which gives additional credit to Powell Tate and KRC Research.
A The report starts with the question: Is Civility on the Decline in America?, and then begins by saying "According to a new, in-depth survey of more than 1,000 U.S. adults conducted by Weber Shandwick and Powell Tate in partnership with KRC Research, an overwhelming majority of Americans view the erosion of civility in human interaction today as a major problem, and feel the distressing situation has only been made worse by the recession".
I got the link from Cindy Haygood at the Etiquette and Leadership Institute (ELI), Athens Georgia. ELI is a training company which prepares individuals to teach young people the skills they need to find all the success they can in tomorrow's even more competitive world.

Gift Rules for the United States Congress
A posting by Public Citizen in it' section "Clean Up Washington" covers the specific regulations concerning gifts that may be accepted by members and staff. Included detailed do's and don't with dollar amounts that are allowable. Post is dated May 30, 2007
http://www.cleanupwashington.org/lobbying/page.cfm?pageid=43

"The Book of Etiquette " –– Eichler, Lillian, Nelson Doubleday, Inc. Oyster Bay, New York, 1921. A PDF of a book in the collection of The University of California Libraries. Lots of information on the rites of passage ... births, weddings, funerals and practical information on communication. Focuses on refinement.
It includes the following chapters:
I-1. Introduction to Etiquette: Laws of Society, Control of the Impulses ...
I-2. Etiquette's Reward: The True Lady and Gentleman ...
I-3. Engagements: A Step-by-Step Guide ...
I-4. Wedding Invitations and Announcements: Every detail ...
I-5. Weddings: Church Weddings, Home Weddings, Wedding Anniversaries...
I-6. The Bride's Outfit: The Wedding Dress and Trousseau ...
I-7. Funerals: Services, Announcements...
I-8. Christenings: Complete Instructions...
II-1. Introductions: Again ... Complete Instructions...
II-2. Letters of Introduction: Model Letters ...
II-3. Calls and Calling Customs: Social calls at Home ...
II-4. Visiting Cards - and Others: All about Cards ...
II-5. Invitations: Styles for various events, all about wording ...
Ii-6. Correspondence: Business and Social, Stationery, Addressing letters ...
II-7. Parents and Children: Responsibilities of Parents, How to be a Guest, Forms of Address ...

"The Bazar Book of Decorum" –– Tomes, Robert, 1817-1882, Harper & Brothers Publishers, New York, 1870. A PDF of a book in the collection of The University of California Libraries. It has the subtitle The care of the person, manners, etiquette and ceremonials. It's based on articles that appeared in Harper's Bazar (yes, just a single 'a' after the 'z' in bazar.) and were expanded for the book. It's very practical and while it is certainly a reflection of its time, it is anything but stuffy.
It includes the following chapters:
1. Ceremonial Observances founded in Common Sense: The peculiar necessity for Americans to develop politeness ...
2. The Obligation to Cultivate Beauty: Notions of beauty and American looks ...
3. Relation of Dress to Form: Hair, nose, eyebrows, eyelashes ...
4. The Ear: How to make it beautiful ...
5. The Hand: Its beauty and utility ...
6. The Power of Expression and Action: Freedom and grace, dancing, mind and body ...
7. American Ease: Posture, walk, gestures ...
8. The Expression: Laughter, blushing, age, odors ...
9. Discrete Use of the Eye: Glances, winking, sleeping in company ...
10. Purity of Speech: Refined association, exaggerations, fashionable falsehoods ...
11. The Defects of the American Voice: Ugly noised from the mouth, the impertinence of British loyalty ...
12. Effect of Civilization on Dress: Art of dressing, inappropriateness of dress ...
13. Super Finery of Dress: Overdressed women, hygiene ...
14. Food: Manner of eating food, decency, chatted food, dainty feeders ...
15. Etiquette of Breakfast and Luncheon
16. Etiquette of Dinner and After Dinner
17. Ancient and Modern Hospitality: Evening party and balls, late parties, manners and morals, treatment of servants ...
18. Visiting Lists: Reportage, etiquette of visits and cards, at home or not at home? ...
19. American Titles: Forms of address, titles, nicknames, letters of introductions, visits to The President ...
20. Births and Christenings, Etiquette of Marriages and Funeral Ceremonies ...

"Don't over-think simplicity of addressing an envelope" –– Judith Martin, "Miss Manners" The Daily Press, September 20 , 2009 (copyright © 2009 United Media, NY, NY 10016) –– "Q. How to you address mail to a same-sex married couple? A. There is a two line form, each name with its own title."
     (Bravo Miss Manners! So much better a solution than the other etiquette sources suggest for same-sex couples. I already showed this as the recommended form (page 141) in my chapter on Joint Forms of Address. I don't know if Miss Manners has a copy of my book or not, but I hope she does.) -- Robert Hickey
     (A big thank you to Diane Brown of Protocol Solutions for sending me this clipping)

"The Lesson of the 38 Candy Bars (The Importance of Small Gestures)" –– Interview with Gary McCullough, president and chief executive officer of Career Education Corporation in 'The Corner Office' by Adam Bryant, The New York Times, August 9 , 2009 –– "Q. What’s the most important leadership lesson you’ve learned? A. The biggest one I learned, and I learned it early on in my tenure in the Army, is the importance of small gestures. As you become more senior, those small gestures and little things become sometimes more important than the grand ones. Little things like saying “please” and “thank you” — just the basic respect that people are due, or sending personal notes. I spend a lot of time sending personal notes."

"Rhode Island, Hoping to Shed Unsavory Past, Weighs Shorter Name " –– by Abby Goodnough, The New York Times, June 30, 2009 –– "Rhode Island has a lightening rod of a formal name –– Rhode Island and Providence Plantation –– that harks back to it prominent role in the slave trade and make some of its residents cringe. ... The State Senate and House of Representatives voted overwhelmingly last week to allow a referendum asking voters whether it should be shortened by seven syllables, to Rhode Island. ... The change would be largely symbolic, since the state's formal name is so rarely used. It appears on many documents, like elevator inspection certificates and marriage licenses. ... the full name would not be removed from any state buildings if the referendum is approved."

"From Serving in Iraq to Welcoming White House Guests " –– by Jeff Zeleny, The New York Times, May 18, 2009 –– "Mr. Obama, of course is Potus (president of the United States). Michelle Obama is Flotus (first lady of the United States). And the title of Rotus (receptionist of the United States) is worn by Darienne M. Page. .... She is on hand to greet nearly every official visitor who has an appointment with the president or his top advisors. .... Last week alone the list of visitors range from ... the Democratic and Republican leaders of the Senate ... to actors in town for a movie premier."

"Yes, Looks Do Matter " –– by Pam Belluck, The New York Times, April 26, 2009 –– "Snap judgements about other people are crucial to the way we function ,,, even when those judgements are wrong. .... Eons ago, this capability was of life-and-death importance, and humans developed the ability to gauge other people in seconds."

"Another Awkward Sex Talk: Respect and Violence" –– by Perri Klass, M.D., The New York Times, April 14, 2009 –– "... you may get a worldview in which boys are viewed as potential criminals and girs as potential victims ... I would teach boys that there are many adults who are scared of boys, who have fears of aggression, and I think politeness is the surest way that a boy can reassure the adult world that he is O.K. and trustworthy."

"Making Room for Miss Manners is a Parenting Basic" –– by Perri Klass, M.D., The New York Times, January 13, 2009 –– "Every infant is born adorable but selfish and the center of the universe .... it's a parent's job to teach that there are other people, and other people have feelings."

"Why How Matters " –– Thomas L. Friedman, The New York Times, October 15, 2008 –– Thomas Friedman quotes Dov Seidman as saying "in our hyperconnected and transparent world how you do things matters more than ever, because so many people can now see how you do things, be affected by how you do things and tell others how you do things on the internet anytime, for no cost and without restraint."

"She Fine-Tuned the Forks of the Richan Vulgars " –– Emily Post: Daughter of the Gilded Age, Mistress of America's Manners by Laura Claridge, Random House Publishers. Book review by Dinitia Smith, The New York Times, October 17, 2008 –– "As Post writes in her 1922 edition, the 'Best Society is not a fellowship of the wealthy, nor does it seek to exclude those who are not of exalted birth; but it is an association of gentle-folk, of which good form in speech, charm of manner, knowledge of social amenities, and instinctive consideration for the feelings of others, are the credentials.' Well, nothing wrong with that. She says Post even claimed to dislike the word 'etiquette' because it conveyed a high-toned attitude."

"For Teenagers, Hello Means 'How About a Hug? " –– by Sarah Kershaw, The New York Times, May 28, 2009 –– "Parents who grew up in a generation more likely to use a handshake, the low-five or high five, are baffled by the close physical contact ... Some sociologists say that teenagers who grew up in an era of organized play dates and close parental supervision are more cooperative with one another than previous generations ... Maybe it's because all these kids do is text and go on Facebook so they don't have any human contact anymore."

Honor & Respect
The Official Guide
to Names, Titles, and Forms of Address
By Robert Hickey

Contact the Author Link to The Protocol School of Washington